Friends. They are like FRIdays and no matter how great it was, FRIdays ENDS.

Have you ever lost a friend? I know I have and while I believe most of the time it’s my fault – not making enough effort to keep in touch, this time I feel that I lost a friend while trying to be her friend.

For people who doesn’t know yet, I have moved into my own shack. The moving process made me clear out items from my past. Photo albums, mementos given to me from ex-friends and ex-boyfriend. Items that are kept so deep in the closet or so high up that dusts have settled in and are staying put. I went through photos in my lower secondary life – XiaoHan, Huimin, Peiqi, Becky, Liling, Peixi, Anthea, Weishan and Meijia, all appearing in photos after photos. We went to the Bird Park together, the beach together and stayed in a chalet together. But all are people I cannot bring myself to call as friends. They are fragments of my history, people from the past or acquaintances. For that, I am sorry. Sorry for not making enough effort to keep in touch. Sorry that I let us drift apart, no matter how different our personalities are. For you guys, thanks for wonderful memories. Thanks for once calling me your friend. Some even good friends.
Up to a few years ago, I belong to a very tight knit group of 4 – PJ Hong, iGeek, Ah-Mei and myself. We were tight. Spending almost every other day together, then chatting online afterwards. It seems like we were all individuals with 4 shadows. BC was our haunt and spent many sleepless nights there. And on nights that we slept, I am always the pansy that needed the comfort of a mattress while PJ Hong, iGeek and Ah-Mei slept on the cool marble floor. That was up to a few years ago. Maybe it was about 5 years or so ago.

Then something happened between iGeek and Ah-Mei, causing iGeek to break away for a while. Perth happened that formed cracks between Ah-Mei and myself.

4 suddenly reduced to a trio and a pair. Although PJ Hong was faraway in doctorate land, iGeek and myself was never far from emails, filling her with not-so-juicy details about our not-so-exciting lives and asking her questions on her experiments that at least I have no clue about. “Harvest non-addictive medicinal marijuana!” is what I have been drumming into PJ. Ah-Mei kept everything private between herself and PJ Hong. We hardly ever got any of Ah-Mei’s reply all emails and when they do come, they are filled with patronizing questions to which I don’t think she even really care.

Phuket came last Christmas. 4 girls (plus my dear Hei) was stuck on an island together. Ah-Mei was suddenly faced with a situation where she cannot run, she had to talk to iGeek and me. There were some awkward silence, some whispering of “what should I say” and some “not sure what to do”. But we all played it cool and try to get along. For the 3 days, it seems like everything went back to when we were 16 years old, except we had more cellulite, our boobs were bigger and were legal to drink.

Ah-Mei’s young twat of a girlfriend, Qiop, did the unforgivable. Yet Ah-Mei forgave her and took her back. And even though we haven’t chatted for a long time and it was in darkness, I could hear the quiver in Ah-Mei’s voice when she told us, the hurt that she felt when she learnt the truth.

I was mad.

And in my half drunken stupor after a girl’s night out, I gave Qiop my word of advice. I said that the girls were as close to me as family can get, and I have known them for 10 years. And although I welcome her into the family, I will warn her that the welfare of the girls always comes first for me. If she hurts Ah-Mei, I will hunt her down (even if it means I fly to America) and I will hurt her. For NOONE hurts my family.

I was drunk. Can’t remember all.

Merciless has been a word that’s been used to describe me when “screening” partners. Ive been told by my sisters that their boyfriends fear me the most when meeting the family. Not my father. Me. And once my sister even said I can be brutal when “screening”.

I love you therefore I “screen”.

Now the END has come with my FRIEND. I think I have lost Ah-Mei. Her loyalty and protectiveness over a twat who cheats supercedes my loyalty and protectiveness over her.
“Will Eck be there?” – 4 words that actually stabs my heart. Pain is felt and tears well. Words that come from Ah-Mei because it seems Qiop is UNCOMFORTABLE when I am around.

4 words come from a “friend” who used to come to me when she had problems, when she needed money to fund her supp paper. The friend who used to draw me her skinny chickens and make me laugh. The friend who rubs my head and tell me I am funny. The friend who cooked instant noodles for me when I was drunk young and hungry. The friend I’ve known and loved for 10 years.

I lost.

A lesson in English

Recently, I was given a lesson in English by a true blue Englishman (who very kindly hosted hei and myself in his awesomely huge villa).

Conversation goes;

Me: Oh, I am currently renovating my new place at Punggol.

Saint R: You see, 'renovating' is a Singapore lingo. You cant say you are renovating. In the English dictionary, 'renovating' means restoring something back into good condition. Is you house already furnish?

Me (sheepishly): No....so what should be the right term?

Saint R: Finishing...you are finishing or completed your apartment.

(End)

I was convinced but wanted to make sure, so I came home and search on the dictionary. And indeed he is right. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/renovate

And at the same time, Saint R also informed me that Singaporeans (correction: real estate agents) used the word "bungalow' too loosely. Everyday he flips through the newspaper and he see them advertising for;

2 STOREY BUNGALOW...
WITH POOL, JACUZZI......

"Bungalow" - is an Indian word that was adopted into the English language. It is use to mean a 1 storey house usually surrounded by a verandah.

bungalow
1676, from Gujarati bangalo, from Hindi bangla "low, thatched house," lit. "Bengalese," used elliptically for "house in the Bengal style."

Everyday, you learn something new...on this day...I learnt 2 things!