What a relieve that this is finally over. Something that I have been kinda stressed over lately has finally past. And the best thing is, it went rather well. Way above my expections.
In October, my dad requested a lunch meeting with Hei's parents. His reason: In-laws should not meet only at the day of the wedding, like strangers. Fair enough, but it was rather stressing for hei and I. Firstly, Hei's working schedule is so erectic that its hard to find a time where he is available. Secondly, my parent and his parents cant be anymore different especially in terms of food taste. And lastly, we wondered if they found something to talk about, what were they gonna talk about? Us? Our housing issue? Dowry? The wedding?
Oh well, as it turns out. We went to a Heng Hwa restuarant, which was good because its Hei's mum's dialect and she knows what to order. Besides, its not like a generic chinese cuisine, its quite special. After the formal introduction, the 2 mothers started talking about food and China. My dad participated in the topic but seemed a bit too over zealous at times. Besides, I think his not-so-great lunch appetite made Hei's mum worried that he didn't like the food. Then they started talking about children, again a good common topic where they can all talk about how they don't see their children anymore and both sides trying very hard to show that they are liberal and they are not bother that their children and them have very little contact time. Where in actual fact, both mums does the occasional 'complain' that their children don't spend enough time and they don't see their children.
Otherwise, the 2 hours lunch went above and beyond my expectation. Hei and I could enjoy the wonderful food, have coversations of our own, without having to create conversations between the families or kill awkward silences.
From the bottom of my heart, I would really like to thank Mum and Dad and my soon to be Mother and Father in-law for the easy casual lunch. Of course, thank my soon to be HUSBAND for treating us to lunch.
OMG, HUSBAND still makes my hair stand a bit...
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Maternal Relationship - A love-hate relationship
Disappointment does not even begin to describe her feelings towards her mum lately. Now, in her twenties, she has been on a 20 years roller coaster ride of emotions with her mother. They went through a series of love-hate relationship, love relationship and hate relationship. And to think she thought that things have been great since her going away to study and coming back. At least now my mother sees me as an adult, she thought.
But all good things have to come to an end someday. Recently, her mother’s actions have left her feeling un-loved and disappointment. It all started with an incident 3 weeks ago.
It was a stormy evening. Looking out at her office window, she could only see the heavy rain platting onto the building and the dark clouds that looms above. It was 6pm and she just wanted to go home after a long day at work. Seeing the bad weather, she called her mum, only to realize that her mum was already home from work. After she enquired if her mum can go over to fetch her mum, her mother’s only cold hearted reply was that she would meet into bad traffic jam at this time. She pleaded with her mum to pick her up as the last few times she went home when it was raining, the rain turned into a storm by the time she reach the bus stop opposite her apartment and she reached home drenched. But her cruel mother simply said no and reassured her that she wouldn’t get sick from being in the rain.
So angry she was with her mother then that she called Australia to her sister and poured her woes.
Then 2 weeks after the incident on a Sunday night, she approached her mother again, asking her mother if her mother could kindly drop her off on the way work. She had earlier organized a department party and brought home 2 banners, a big bagful of excess name badges, a label maker and her working briefcase. Her mother complained that fetching her to work means they always have to leave at 8.15am, causing her to get caught in the peak hour traffic and having her to pay $2 for ERP and be late for work. A sharp pain ran through her heart. How can her mother say that? Does her mother not have a single sense of compassion? Her mother has just recently returned to her family business after leaving 15 years ago, her official working hour is from 8.30am to 5.00pm but she has seen her mother leaving home only at 8.10am and returning home as early at 2pm often. Besides, having only started work less than 6 months, her mother has taken leave to go Indonesia and China for holidays. So obviously work timing is flexible in the company, so what is 20 mins late for work?
Having to door slammed in her face twice, she learnt never to ask her mother again.
To her mother, the grass is always greener on the other side. Other children are more filial, obedient and successful. Other people’s husband is more caring, loving and romantic. Yet her mother always fails to see that her daughters try their very best. At least they fetch and pick her up almost all the time when she asked, listen to her woes about their father and provide for the family as much as they can. Her father, although grumpy sometimes and an untidy man of few words, cleans up the balcony everyday and bothers to take time out to vacuum and mops the floor. Her mother simply chooses to criticize how dirty the house is and noone bothers to clean except her.
This constant negativity coupled with her mother’s tantrums simply makes living with her mother so unbearable at times. Who wants to be a punching bag for no rhyme or reason?
She has decided that it’s not worth being upset over her mother this way. No confrontation will come to any good and her mother would simply think that it is just another one of her daughter’s way to rebel. She has decided to live and let die, she will just speak to her mother minimally and never to ask for another thing.
But all good things have to come to an end someday. Recently, her mother’s actions have left her feeling un-loved and disappointment. It all started with an incident 3 weeks ago.
It was a stormy evening. Looking out at her office window, she could only see the heavy rain platting onto the building and the dark clouds that looms above. It was 6pm and she just wanted to go home after a long day at work. Seeing the bad weather, she called her mum, only to realize that her mum was already home from work. After she enquired if her mum can go over to fetch her mum, her mother’s only cold hearted reply was that she would meet into bad traffic jam at this time. She pleaded with her mum to pick her up as the last few times she went home when it was raining, the rain turned into a storm by the time she reach the bus stop opposite her apartment and she reached home drenched. But her cruel mother simply said no and reassured her that she wouldn’t get sick from being in the rain.
So angry she was with her mother then that she called Australia to her sister and poured her woes.
Then 2 weeks after the incident on a Sunday night, she approached her mother again, asking her mother if her mother could kindly drop her off on the way work. She had earlier organized a department party and brought home 2 banners, a big bagful of excess name badges, a label maker and her working briefcase. Her mother complained that fetching her to work means they always have to leave at 8.15am, causing her to get caught in the peak hour traffic and having her to pay $2 for ERP and be late for work. A sharp pain ran through her heart. How can her mother say that? Does her mother not have a single sense of compassion? Her mother has just recently returned to her family business after leaving 15 years ago, her official working hour is from 8.30am to 5.00pm but she has seen her mother leaving home only at 8.10am and returning home as early at 2pm often. Besides, having only started work less than 6 months, her mother has taken leave to go Indonesia and China for holidays. So obviously work timing is flexible in the company, so what is 20 mins late for work?
Having to door slammed in her face twice, she learnt never to ask her mother again.
To her mother, the grass is always greener on the other side. Other children are more filial, obedient and successful. Other people’s husband is more caring, loving and romantic. Yet her mother always fails to see that her daughters try their very best. At least they fetch and pick her up almost all the time when she asked, listen to her woes about their father and provide for the family as much as they can. Her father, although grumpy sometimes and an untidy man of few words, cleans up the balcony everyday and bothers to take time out to vacuum and mops the floor. Her mother simply chooses to criticize how dirty the house is and noone bothers to clean except her.
This constant negativity coupled with her mother’s tantrums simply makes living with her mother so unbearable at times. Who wants to be a punching bag for no rhyme or reason?
She has decided that it’s not worth being upset over her mother this way. No confrontation will come to any good and her mother would simply think that it is just another one of her daughter’s way to rebel. She has decided to live and let die, she will just speak to her mother minimally and never to ask for another thing.
Planet Fitness at VivoCity
Tiny lockers and lousy sound system are just some of the members’ benefit you get to ‘enjoy’ at the NEW VivoCity Planet Fitness. Fortunately for members, the gym is situated at the roof top of Vivo City where one can view the skyline of Sentosa because the TV embedded in the state-of-the-art treadmill does not work half the time and the reception is so bad the other half of the time. Machines are also a scarcity at the gym and this is affirmed by the waiting area where 3 chairs are placed for members to wait to go on the treadmill.
One thing is constant is this newly opened gymnasium, the lousy air-conditioning & sound system in the fitness class. The over-whelming participants in each class mean there’s a constant competition for fresh air. Maybe this is the goal of Planet Fitness, to force sweat to purge out of their members as a form of detoxification. The sound system is inhabited by a squeaking alien who enjoys chomping down on potato chips.
After 2 hours at the gym, GETting FIT FOR LIFE, members are greeted with a designer bathroom where the designer seemed to have no thought process in his design concept. The lockers are so magnificently tiny that no normal size gym bag would fit and for members who go to the gym afterwork, it's a dilemma between putting your briefcase or gym bag into the locker. And no, the 2 locker space of hanging area for clothes with a miserable 4 hangers per what it seems like 18 lockers does not help the situation one bit. But Planet Fitness’s toilets motivates one to slim down and GET FIT, the toilet area is so small that a slim person would need to stand at the side just to close the door and the shower curtain is made of heavy PVC material that requires industrial strength to draw. Besides, with a shower pressure even worse than a drizzle, member’s probably doesn’t even want to shower after gym.
Otherwise, the staffs are friendly and the view is great. Afterall, at a cheap price of $65 per month, one can’t possible compare Planet Fitness to the lifestyle club that is Fitness First.
One thing is constant is this newly opened gymnasium, the lousy air-conditioning & sound system in the fitness class. The over-whelming participants in each class mean there’s a constant competition for fresh air. Maybe this is the goal of Planet Fitness, to force sweat to purge out of their members as a form of detoxification. The sound system is inhabited by a squeaking alien who enjoys chomping down on potato chips.
After 2 hours at the gym, GETting FIT FOR LIFE, members are greeted with a designer bathroom where the designer seemed to have no thought process in his design concept. The lockers are so magnificently tiny that no normal size gym bag would fit and for members who go to the gym afterwork, it's a dilemma between putting your briefcase or gym bag into the locker. And no, the 2 locker space of hanging area for clothes with a miserable 4 hangers per what it seems like 18 lockers does not help the situation one bit. But Planet Fitness’s toilets motivates one to slim down and GET FIT, the toilet area is so small that a slim person would need to stand at the side just to close the door and the shower curtain is made of heavy PVC material that requires industrial strength to draw. Besides, with a shower pressure even worse than a drizzle, member’s probably doesn’t even want to shower after gym.
Otherwise, the staffs are friendly and the view is great. Afterall, at a cheap price of $65 per month, one can’t possible compare Planet Fitness to the lifestyle club that is Fitness First.
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