There is a show here which always brings me to tears. Not tears of joy, but it really makes me really really sad...and breaks my heart.
Its called "Say Yes to a Dress", its a reality show surrounding a Bridal Gown shop here and how the sales people help women find their perfect dress.
It makes me sad because I didn't have my perfect dress. Noone knew but I didn't like my dress at all. It was not what I wanted. My hair was not what I wanted. But because people thought it looked nice and I really didn't want to upset anyone that I didn;t say anything.
Noone was there when I fitted my dress except for E-Chiing and I really love and appreciate her for that. I understand everyone had to work, really. But noone lost their breath when I walked out of the fitting room. My mum didn't cry when I wore my dress. My dad didn't say I looked beautiful. My Hei didn't looked in awe when I walked down the aisle.
I had the perfect proposal, the perfect wedding reception with the perfect man but I was the imperfection and I hate it.
And now I worry that I won't be able to look back at my wedding and be happy and proud.
I would love to think Im crazy. That I truly looked beautiful and Im just thinking too much. But I can't. I didn't like the dress, I hated my hair and the fact that I even forgot to wear jewellery on that day was unforgivable.
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