End of the Year Poem

2005 was really swell
I tried a lot and it all went well
I made new friends who's really cool
I wore a dress that made men drool
Hong Kong, Taipei, been there done that
Blackie's lap is where I've sat
Hong Kong's fun and I love so much
It's so unique there's only one of such
Taipei's great, the food was better
The men, the food, I prefer the latter
To Al, a man, to whom Im so grateful
With him, I never need to ever be bashful
Thanks to him, I went travelling this year
His voice I miss and always long to hear.
The year was fun, guess what I did
Auditions I went and tried to bid
For a spot in show biz, but I didn't make it
Well, at least I tried and love it to bits!
2 army functions I attended with Blacks
So proud of him but something lacks
A smile on his face for he looks so cool
A 'sua-ku' woman beside him's a fool
Blacks and I are still going strong
I know he loves me in a thong
New friends I met and old friendships rekindle
I dined at Jack's Place in the light of a candle
2005 was a great for me from toe to head
I look forward to the 06 ahead!!!

My Year. This Year. 2005

Year 2005 has certainly been one hell'va journey for me. No. I don't mean it in a bad way. In fact, I think 2005 has treated me fairly, actually, it has treated me DAMN F**KING WELL.

Thanks to Guan-Yin-Ma for giving me the strength to step out of my comfort zone and the courage to TRY.
Thanks to my family who has been nothing but supportive towards my choices and been there for me during my down times.
Thanks to my friends who has kept me entertained this year. Thanks to the rainbow/carebear club for initiating my into it. Thanks you to my 3 best friends for the 8 years of solid friendship.

I specially want to thank 2 people here for putting their faith in me this year;
Debs: For your TREMENDOUS faith in me. You landed me my first job and I will never forget it. I kinda wanna say something very grateful like 'You're like the sister I never had", but I can't cos I already have 2 fantastic sisters. But its somewhere along those lines. Just want you to know that I admire your focus and dedication when it comes to work and I look forward to working alongside with you.




Al: Thanks for showing my the ropes. You can be considered my FIRST boss, and even though we had our 'wanting to kill each other' times, you set such a high standard for a Boss that I will find it hard to 'replace' you. Thanks so much for bringing my to Hong Kong and Taipei. I still don't believe you actually believe in me enough to bring me. Well, at least thats what I want to believe.
Love you. Muacks!!!!! Kekeke

Let's tell you what my activities are this year.

Jan-Feb :: Pretty normal. I was unemployed and looking high and low for a job. Noone gave me a break. Noone called me for an interview even. January was the month that Blacks went to help in the relief efforts for the victions of the Southeast Asian Tsunami (26th December 2004). I did 2 days of voluntary work at the National Volunteers Association or something like that. Helping to co-ordinate the efforts here. Although it wasn't much, but I'm glad I could help.

Mar :: I wish I have photos to show, but my PC crashed and wipe everything out. Blacks and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary on the 19th March 2005. As we had dinner, I glazed into the eyes of the man sitting before me and a sense of warmth rushed over me. I am so happy that I found the one. Muacks Babe!

I also got my first full time job, although it was a contract job only. I felt so much ownership to the project, I lived it, I breathed it, I even dreamt about it.

Apr:: Blacks decided to be sweet, picked me up from work on 19th and we re-celebrated our 1st year anniversary because the crashing of my PC wipe all my photos away. Although it was a short night and we din take half as many photos as we did, we had a fantastic dinner date.

April was also a damn busy period for me at work. I hit a rut this month too.....

May:: I WENT TO HONG KONG!!!!!! For those who don't really know me, I am very fascinated by this city that never sleeps. I watched enough HK movies to love it on the big screen and the city didn't let me down one bit! I LOVE IT!
May also marked the end of my first full time job, when the tear down began on Hong Kong MAS, part of my heart tore too.



June: Out of a job again, but enjoyed the break from the hectic working schedule from MAS Hong Kong. I helped out at CommunicAsia for the Panasonic booth.

July:: Love was in the air was Mark proposed to E-lin. Although it was not like the movies, but its not about the romance. Its's about the love. It's about the committment. Congrats!!

Aug:: 'We are Singapore, we are Singapore. We will stand united hear the lion roar.' As we celebrated Singapore's birthday, we had our very first National Day Party. Barbeque and a whole load good company. I also had a surprise call from a guy who ask me back for MAS TAIPEI!!!!

Sep:: I TURN 23!!!!!! 'NUFF SAID.

Oct:: BLACKS TURN 28!!!!!
I attended my first OCS Commissioning Ball and had a blast. Although I didn't eat much, the entertainment was rather lame and didn't talk to anyone else except Blacks, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. And I was so proud sitting next to my man.
Nov:: I started my new job at a marketing communication firm. My first desk bound job. B.O.R.I.N.G

Dec:: CHRISTMAS!!!!! NEW YEAR!!!!

Thank you, Guan-Yin-Ma

Dear Guan-Yin-Ma,

You must have heard my pleas. Because after tell you my heartstrings, I felt an immediate sense of calm and warmth.

I only plea to you again, I hope no one gets offended reading my blog. I say how I feel and finish feeling once I spit everything out. So please, Guan-Yin-Ma, bless me with everyone's understanding and forgiveness.

Thank you.

With love,
Me

The darkest period.

Dear Guan-Yin-Ma (Goddess of Mercy),

Have you been busy lately and forgotten about me? Or have I not prayed to you much lately? In the past couple of days, I have been having a lousy run of luck. In my 23 years of life you have given me, I have never had such bad luck as I have yesterday. And it seems like it is not going away.

12th December 2005

7.50am - Woke up feeling a little Monday blue as usual. The weekend flies by so quickly. But I brace myself for the day ahead and look forward to a new day. I did my usual morning routine, only to find out that my hair is so curly. I use my flat iron for 5 mins, only to realise that the plug has gone loose and the power was switched off. I plugged it back and waited for it to heat up again. But bad hair day. My hair just couldn't be straight yesterday.

8.02am - Where is my Ezlink card? Where is the bag that I have my Ezlink in? The beginning of the run, my mother took a bag she hardly use, didn't empty the existing contents and went out, bringing along, my trustworthy Ezlink card. I woke my sister, wanting to get her to drive me to work, only to realise, when she woke, that the car wasn't even around. Mum took the car and forgot her phone. No way to reach her.

8.20am - Missed my bus. Waited another 10 mins for the next one which brought me to work at 9.15am. Bad start to the day.....

9.20am - Took a deep breath and began working. Rushed an almost impossible deadline for my client. Also realised that one of the vendors gave me the wrong thing. Oh well, its work. Shit Happens.

12.30pm - So Hungry. Need food. Need lunch. My colleagues and I decided to try this place we hardly go. The coffeeshop was crowded but we still sat down and order. After waiting for 30mins, only 1 out of 7 plates of food arrive. 45mins later, everyone's came. Except mine. The auntie forgot about me. I was fuming. Hungry & ANGRY. To make things worse, the auntie used her oily hands to pat my back in attempts to calm me down!

4.00pm - My best friend is coming home this evening. Would really like to go pick her up. I ask to borrow the car. I msged her and asked, but reminded her that if she needs to use the car or if its troublesome its alright. She told me ok, but then 'slap' me with a bunch of terms and conditions as to what time I need the car. Whether can I wait til 830. What time I can drop off the car for her so that she can drive home after the late night movie. In some ways, I am very disappointed because I would like to for once use the car, for once use the car with the electronic key with the remote alarm. I rather you tell me 'No, I need the car'. Then to tell me ok but give me so much constraints. Yes, I totally understand the nature for which the car was bought. Yes, I know that I kinda have my own car. But it seems like from the day she passed her test and got her licence. Its no longer our car. I feel guilty as I am saying this for I love her so very much. Yet, I cant escape the frustration that I feel sometimes, especially days like yesterday. Before your licence you used to take public transport, why does it seems like you no longer can stand taking public transport now? Am I being unreasonable?

6.00pm - I was excited and ready to leave work. Anxious to see my best friend who's going through a rut herself. Beep. I got a message to inform me that I can only take the vehicle at 7.15pm. Forget it. By the time I wait for the car and stuff, i would only be able to meet my best friend at 9pm. Im just gonna take a bus.

7.40pm - Finally arrived at my best friend's place. She's lost so much weight, she getting 2-D. We trottled to Blk 85 in hopes of getting a sumptious meal but instead, we got re-grilled chicken wings and re-fried oyster omelette and the girls ate bland pork mince noodles. Nonetheless, the company was priceless.

1.00am - 12th December has finally ended. I prayed for the end of my bad luck. Sleeping in the arms of my lover sure made things a whole lot better.

13th December 2005

7.40am - I woke up to a dark gloomy day which started raining after I stepped out of the shower. I phoned my mother who said she'll come back and fetch me to work. So I took my time to get ready. When she came home, she ask if I could go to work late. She was going with her friends to a place near my work place at around 9ish and was picking her friends up at 845am. Mum, I don't own the company. I wish I do but I don't. If I can don't turn up for work at all i would, but I can't. I need to earn a living. Why does everyone has to make me feel like I'm second priority?

8.15am - In my rush to catch the bus, I left my shawl at home and dropped my umbrella cover along the way to the bus stop.

8.45am - Freezing in the bus. Wondering what have I done to deserve these.....

Guan-Yin-Ma, I know I am not exactly an angel. But I haven't done anything that have caused much harm to people. Please watch over me ok? I'm not too sure how much I can take.

Thank you.

Regards,
Me.

The importance of Pillow Support.

My neck is very sore....making me grumpy.

Pillow support and comfort
It is a very comforting feeling to have just the right pillow to rest an achy, tired body on. In addition to providing comfort, the right pillows can also provide the necessary support for the neck and spine—alleviating or preventing many common forms of back pain and neck pain.
Main benefits of pillowsUse of a pillow while sleeping has two main functions:

Support: From a physical perspective, pillows prop up the head, neck and shoulders - keeping them in alignment, relieving pressure and counterbalancing the points in the body.
Comfort: From a more subjective perspective, pillows create a feeling of comfort, which aids in getting a good night’s sleep and feeling well rested.

Mattress top pillow
The traditional pillow is the mattress top pillow - used to provide support for the head, neck, and upper spine while the body is lying in bed in a resting position. For optimum support, it is best to select a pillow that has the following characteristics:

Pillow is designed to keep the spine in natural alignment
The human neck curves slightly forward (to sustain the weight of the head when upright), and it’s important to maintain this curve when in a resting position.
If the height of the pillow is too high when sleeping sideways or on the back, the neck is bent abnormally forward or to the side, causing muscle strain on the back of the neck and shoulders. This type of position may also cause narrowing of the air pipe, resulting in obstructed breathing, and sometimes snoring, which can hinder sleep.
Conversely, if the height of the pillow is too low, the neck muscles can also be strained.

Based on the body’s measurements and personal preference, the pillow should maintain a height of 4 to 6 inches, properly supporting the head and neck (and shoulders when lying on back).
Pillow feels comfortableA large part of what makes a good pillow is personal preference. If the pillow feels comfortable, it’s likely to help one relax, get a good night’s sleep, and feel well rested in the morning. The pillow's surface can also be a source of comfort - some people prefer a pillowcase with a cool, smooth feeling (such as cotton), some prefer warmth (such as flannel), etc.

Pillow is adjustable
To help the pillow conform to various sleep positions, it is best if the pillow can be adjusted to fit the unique shape and curves and sleeping position of the user. A pillow should mold to one’s individual shape and alleviate any pressure points.

Pillows for each sleep position One’s sleep position will dictate how a traditional mattress top pillow can be used to provide the appropriate support.

Using a pillow while sleeping on the back. When lying on the back, a pillow should support the natural curvature of the cervical spine, with adequate support under the head, neck, and shoulders. When sleeping on the back, the height of the pillow should be lower than in the sideways position. Placing a pillow or two beneath the knees further alleviates any back strain, and is the gentlest position on the back.

Using a pillow while sleeping on the side. When lying on one’s side, a pillow should support the head and neck such that the spine maintains a straight and natural horizontal line. Weight should be evenly distributed so as not to create unnatural bending or pressure. Some people may prefer placing a small pillow or rolled up towel under their waist while lying on the side for additional support.

Using a pillow while sleeping on the stomach. If sleeping or resting on the stomach is preferred, the pillow should be relatively flat, or the head should rest directly on the mattress, so that the head and neck aren’t turned unnaturally to either side. In this position, it is often best to place another relatively flat pillow under the stomach to help the spine keep its natural alignment.
Over time, most pillows will begin to lose their firmness and no longer support the neck adequately. When the pillow has reached this stage, it should be replaced.

(taken from http://www.spine-health.com/topics/cd/pillows/pillows01.html)

The old lady

Today, I brought a bagful of Delimanjoo to work. My colleagues all had a piece and there were some left over. After lunch, as we were walking into our office, I notice a very old lady sitting at the back alley, under the hot sun, folding our scrap paper and putting them into a plastic bag. I had a feeling she was gonna collect all the paper and send them to the rag-and-bone man to earn some money. It was 30 degrees outside today and seeing her sitting there, with 1 arm in a cast, broke my heart. I smiled at her and immediately knew what I had to do.

I went upstairs, took the left over Delimanjoo and send it down to her. Speaking to her in my weak Cantonese, I told her that my mother baked those cakes and I would like her to have them. She was so sweet and told me to offer to my colleagues and the cleaning lady first.

No old people should have to suffer like that. It was such a hot day, they should be sitting somewhere, having a cup of tea, relishing about old times and listening to old music. I wonder whether she has any family, any children. Why would her children allow her to be as such? I'm no fillial daughter I admit. I don't give me mother money now that I'm working (because I don't even have enough for myself). But I would never in my life allow my mother to reduce to such destitute. How would I live with myself?

How does her children live with themselves?

I also suddenly thought about my own grandmother. I really don't think life has been unfair to her. Sure, she had worked as a a-mah to an Cauasian family during WW2 and had to marry my grandfather out of no choice (because he wanted to save her from the Japanese Troops) and became my grandfather's second wife. She has had quite a blessed life
- My father although don't talk to her. Pulled her out of my grandfather house and warned him not to ever hit my grandmother.
- He lived with her most of his married life and gave her allowaance every month even til now when he is no longer working.
- When my father decided to move out with us (mom n his daughters), he made sure my grandmother had a new flat to live with my aunt.

But it seems sometimes that my grandmother thinks that she is the most worse off person in the whole wide world. She is like our loan shark, every month, on the dot she will call and chase for her allowance. Which she doesnt even need cos she doesnt leave the house, and 3 meals are provided for by my aunt who cooks for her.

The questions of life.