In search of my roots

Alright, not really in search of my roots but going to China is a little like going back to my roots right. Im Chinese after all.

First trip to Beijing. First time to the capital city of the People's Republic of China. Ive been to other parts of China before but never a large city like Beijing or Shanghai. Guangzhou was no where close.

Its nothing like I imagine.

Well, actually I have zero expectations nor did I had any impressions. You know how you have what NYC looks like in your mind because of all the telly programs but hardly watch anything about China so I have absolutely no idea how did Beijing looked like.

It is a cosmopolitan city. One sky scraper after the next, one highway leading to another highway and like all urban cities, TRAFFIC JAM. I attempted the train system, half expecting to die to poor infrastructure and smell but I was extremely surprise. Sure, the ventilation was much to be desired but it was really not bad. Cheap, fast and efficient. I could do with less shoving from the mainlanders but its still bearable.

Summer Palace was beautiful. The architecture was intricate and down to the finest of detail. I was most impressed with a theatre that was 3 stories high to help depict heaven, earth and hell better.

The vastness of Forbidden City took my breath away. A city within a city this palace must have been both a heaven and a prison for some. As I walk from one palace to another, one garden to the next, I wonder if all imperial rule is bound for failure as a society modernise. The Chinese imperialism was totally eradicated, Japan, Thailand and British royal family mainly serves as a figure head.

Whats wrong with the imperial system?

I left Beijing with this thought. Taxi drivers are the crux of forming a tourist's impression on a city. I was very comfortable with the taxis in Beijing, I wasnt afraid of crooks or getting rob by them and most of all I felt they were honest and didnt purposely go a loong way just to earn an extra buck. I met a couple who even chatted with me and gave me some good insights to China.

Can't wait for my next trip to this misunderstood country.

April came and left too fast

As cliche as this sounds but seriously, TIME FLIES. Especially this year for me, I dont know why.

April was the travelling month for me. India, China, Hong Kong and then Macau.

Here, I wanna take a moment and thank my boss (machiam like Oscar award). If my boss continue to bring my to beautiful places like sanya, i will never leave.....=)

Gurgaon, Delhi, India
I went to India with a little hesitation and a little fear. All the talk about the water, the air and the damn movie, Slumdog Millionaire, I was half expecting walking out of the airport and smelling sewage, getting rob immediately and suffering from diarrohea. Well, a gust of warm air greeted me as I walked out of the airport but it doesnt smell. While walking to the carpark, a boy tried to haggle for handouts but left me alone. But the food.....IT WAS HEAVENLY.

Kebabs, Briyani, Cottage Cheese, Dhall....I never tasted better Indian food nor have I love Indian food as much....I swear, I must have gained like 3kgs in the 3 days I was there. Nope, I rephrase, 5kg. Besides, India's Kingfisher beer isnt that bad!

Sanya, Hainan, China
I went to Audrey's family hometown. Sanya was beautifullll, well at the resort where I was. Hainanese chicken rice there doesnt compare to Singapore but China fascinates me. I can't wait to explore another part of it.

Hong Kong & Macau
When work was finally over and done with (for April at least), I took a short holiday to Hong Kong. Xiaohei, his mom and my mom met me in there and 4 of us did all the possible touristy thing. But the weather was not with us this time, fog covered 60% of the peak, making visibility non existent when we were at the top.

I must say, after 3 years working for a Hong Konger boss, my cantonese has improved!!! Although I bet all the locals I spoke to probably think Im either a joke or insulting their language but heck, I tried.

May is a grounded month for me, besides, with my excellent financial skills, Im already broke and its only the 5th day of the month.

Til the next adventure. Cant wait.

Hey buddy. I feel like you now. Its 11.10pm and I am hungry.

How issit where you are? I still see your picture on my computer wallpaper everyday and my heart no longer ache as much but I still miss you. Sometimes I wonder if I had brought you over to live with me if it would be better. Wondering if you would have lived longer.

But I guess its too late to think about it now.

Remember how I changed your diet to a vegetarian diet? I would cook a meal worth 3 days for you and Vicky. Smash potatoes, mince meat pie, fried rice....Ill never have the chance to cook for you every again. Maybe in our next life time together? Im so glad you were never picky with food and even though we complain how a big glutton you are, im sure we all wish you are still around to pick off the floor.

I miss you buddy. One day, we shall dine together once more.

Love you.

Hey buddy. Remember the time Echiing brought back a little sick kitten? We were staying at Waterloo then and she found the kitten with a bloated tummy. It was already late in the evening and we were sure what to do at that time.

Chiing and I put the little kitten in a box. We tried to feed it make but it wouldnt take, we tried water but also failed. It was then decided that we will wait til morning before we bring it to a vet.

The whole night you sat beside the little kitten. When you lean forward to sniff it, we were so scared that you will bite it but you stick out that pink tongue and gave it a big lick. Then you sat beside it again and everytime the cat whispered the slightest mew, you ran to me, stared at me and ran back out. If I didnt follow you, you ran back to my room, stared at me again and whine.

That night you didnt sleep in my room. Instead, you took your place beside the little kitten and you gave it love.

Poor thing didnt survive to see the break of dawn and when we woke, the kitten was already a stiffy. But you kept your place, not moving an inch.

You were with little kitty til her very last breath. I am so glad I was able to be with you at your last breaths as well. Im really sorry for not holding my place beside you all the time but you are always in my heart.

Always. And Forever.

I miss you buddy, still so very much and I still have this sourish feeling when I think of you.

Dont ever forget me ok? I will never forget you.

Hey buddy. Is there haze where you are? The air is so polluted here, making it so hard to breathe but it finally rained this morning. It brought a little breeze but its still hot.

Was looking at some of Aless's photos and saw one of him lying on the same pillow as Tiger. I thought of you. I remember once Elin was home and you were sleeping on your pillow. She crawled towards you wanting to disturb your sleep but ended up falling asleep on your pillow!!! The funniest thing was that you woke up, annoyed by her "sharing" your pillow, and walked away. Echiing and I was rolling in laughter, looking at Elin sleep on your pillow. Its not exactly the cleanest eh?

Joe, its been almost a week since you left. But I still see you every night when I close my eyes. I still think about you and our time together.

Do you think of me?

Remember we used to share food? It started with you picking from my fingers and then you took straight from my mouth. Disgusting from some but it was a bond between you and me. But I stopped after you bit my lip one evening in the midst of your excitement. My lip split and swell and for the next couple days. Chiing laughed and did the "serve you right" and I scolded you.

But look at your face. How long can I stay angry with you for.....

Maybe I should have brought you to Punggol with me. Maybe it would have prolong your life. Maybe maybe maybe.

Ten years we have been together. Noone can take your place in my heart. And hopefully one day, we will meet again. I love you buddy.

I remember once something made me really upset. Noone was at home and I was crying like there's no tomorrow.

You came, sat next to me and started licking my tears away. Then, I thought its the greedy you wanting to taste my salty tears, but I know its because you love me and wanted to cheer me up. I remember it did, you brought a smile to my face.

Now, thinking of times like this makes my heart ache and a sting to my eyes. But noone here to lick away my tears anymore.

I miss you buddy.

This is one heartache I wish for noone.

You were born on 26 December 1997.

We werent there to witness your birth but not long after, you went to Lin's home. To become a Wee.

I remember the first time we met. You were carried out of the gate by a man. Poor you, had to endure a 8 hour flight in a small space. Chiing put the collar and leash on you and you came home with us.

Your first home was Waterloo. It was 1999 and I was entering polytechnic.

And even though I was so excited to meet you and fell in love at first sight, I played it cool. Letting you explore the house on your own.

"If you pat your bed means you allow him up". Chiing told me.

I pat my bed hestitantly. And you jumped up, wagged your tail at me and sat down.

You slept with me from that day on. Sometimes at the foot of my bed, sometimes on my left. Always under my covers, curled up into a ball. And when i move to much, you fidget and sigh, like Ive disturbed your sleep.

Im sorry if I did. Wish you were at my foot once more.

Miss you so much.

The year of the Tiger

3rd day of the new year and im sitting at home in my short and tank top, fanning myself because of the intense heat. The weather has been amazingly warm and ultra humid.

Eve of the new year was busy but manageable - hei has just return from his "Cobra Affair" in Pattaya and we slept in a little til 9.30am. Grabbed some lunch, withdrew and changed some money and managed to find a pet shop that was open so that Vicky and Joey wont starve during the holidays. Dinner at the Wees was enjoyable. Thanks dad for the peeled prawns. Followed by a lo hei session at the Tays.

Typical first day of CNY, temple in the morning - said hi to grandma but forgot grandpa. Oops...Chiing and I ran back to the alter and apologise profusely to ah-kong , only to follow the apology with a request to strike lottery....haha. After that, we went down to greet MB.B and ate good mee sua. Drama struck as normal at S.C Ah-ma house and at noon, after 2 phone calls from Jyn, we rushed down to Gremlim's place.

"Write your name on the ang pow" Gremlim kept telling me.

There, Chiing and I watched Hei stone and 2 uncles with a combined age above 100 teasing a less than 1 year old baby to laugh. It was hilarious yet heartwarming to watch.

By 3pm, Hei and I were home, unconscious. Only woke up when Mother Tay called to ask "You guys are not coming right?" Double meaning words, we shot up and move our asses.

The evening was spent in Whampoa - more eating, more fanning from the heat and waiting for Mother Tay to finish playing MJ. At midnight, she walked out and asked us to go home first. Ahhh! We could have left at 1030.

2nd day of CNY - Mackers Big Breakfast Deluxe. YUM. Fed the fishes. Watched TV, watched TV, napped. Went to buy dinner.

Dominoes and Yu Sheng - FUSION.

And as luck would have it, we accidentally threw away out tv remote control. Great.

At 2215, we started a MJ game at Bee's house. It was too late to start and by the time we were done - it was 4am. It was then followed by supper in Geylang.

6am - we slept.

10.45am - I woke. The ironing started.

12 noon - Hei woke.

1pm - Lunch.

2.50pm - I blog this entry.

Soon Ill be going to Lynn's place - more eating, more drinking.

FAT(T) FAT(T) FAT(T)

Comedians are the true depressives

Yesterday, something triggered a thought "Should I start to care more and take matters more personally?"

There has been an issue at work, well, as you know, I am a humble non-HP employee working in HP. That means I am a contingent or contract worker. That means I am scum of the earth or as my dear friend Michelle puts it. the corriander leave on a plate of pasta that people convenient puts aside.

Seriously, that has not bothered me much. Who really cares whether you are a contract or a permanent staff. I work everyday just like them, I have deadlines just like them and their job is as unstable as mine.

Ok the issue goes, all contingent works need to leave the company for 100 days before rejoining back. 100 days of unemployment.

Is that bad? DN was bothered by the news and I laughed when the news was broken to me. In my mind, I was thinking "holiday" "break" "relax" but DN was thinking "bills" "unemployment".

Towards the end of the day, I started to question whether was I just masking my anxiety?

Then today came, HairyB came back from Phuket and I called her in the evening to find out what she was up to. iGeek was gonna go over after dinner and HR may too. I had wanted until I heard that HR was going.

"Ill meet you another time. See ya" - I told HairyB. Followed by a text to iGeek telling her that I wasnt going to meet up.

Here's the story with me and HR. We were bestest friends. All 4 of us. Sure, there was a time when we all grew up and made our own friends but we always cared for each other. I was hurt when HB say she loved HairyB the most because they met first. It wasnt because she didnt love me most but because everytime HairyB was not in town. 4 became 2. HB will not call or meet up. Once she said to me that she found it hard to meet because we have all gone on different routes.

Bull.

But this time was the worse. HB met a little CCB who cheated on her and broke her heart. I was so mad that when they patch back and met me - I told her Little CCB to be careful with HB because I will be mad if it happens again.

HB was mad at me for it. But truth behold, she cheated and broke her heart again.

I didnt do anything because my own heart was broken. For after I told the little CCB, HR avoided me like the plague. When I met them again, she shielded Little CCB like I was a serial killer. And even asked "Is Eck there?" before meeting up.

I dont think I have ever felt so betrayed before.

So months went by and I didnt say anything. HairyB went back to UK and all became normal again. 4 became 2.

HairyB's birthday last year, I decided to tell HR how I felt, hoping to peace things out and its blew up in my face.

We are not even friends now.

So with a heavy heart and a big bowl of pasta. Here is my note to HR.

Dear my friend from the past,

I hope you find happiness - in love, in work, in life. I know you think life hasnt been the fairest to you but choices are made by yourself and you need to make the best out of it. I will always remember our friendship, your mum's noodles and the skinny chicken you drew for me.

With only love.
Eck - you gave me this name.