The Premiere - Our dream home

You are a pair of newly-weds.
You dream about your future home, how it would look like, how it would feel like. Even what it will smell like.
Envisioning your dream home brings a smile to you faces, a sense of calmness and a ray of hope to the union.
You talk about it, discussing the colours of the walls and the furniture, the theme of the house.
As you talk, you can't help but feel a ting-ling sensation run through your body, a electricfying sense of excitment.
You just can't wait for day you get the keys.
The gateway to the nest, the door that tangiblise the union, the opening to a life together.

Can you feel it?

Introducing the Premiere - Our dream home.

What do you think?

'Oh my god! My dress! The dress-maker told me he couldnt finish in time.'

'Ok calm down, lets go and buy one now of the rack, there is a mall just downstairs'

Her sister and her immediately flew out of the rehearsal wedding and headed to the mall below. Lucky it was only 3.30pm, there was 2 hours to find a last min dress for the wedding. Calvin Klein, Massimo Dutti, Mango. Price was no longer a consideration, she would charged it to the credit card first. As the 2 sisters ran down the escalator, the bride saw this shop at the corner of her eye, selling some dresses but they were all too colourful. Never mind, I'll keep it in mind, she thought to herself. First to Mango, then to Klein and then all the rest. She needed a dress. She wants to get married.

They headed towards the Mango sign but to their horrors, it was only a window display.

'Where is the damn Mango shop!?!?' The bride started to panick.

The 2 sisters, rushed from shop to shop, only to find all the dresses were in knits. It's the winter fashion, there were no cocktail dress on sale!!!!!

On the verge of an anxiety attack, the bride looked at her watch. Oh no, it was 9.38pm, way past her stipulated ceremony time. And still no dress.

'Oh we saw that shop earlier. VMS or VPMS or something. Where is it?!?!?!!?'

'That way. Quick' She grabbed hold of the brides hand and ran in the opposte direction

They entered a shop named "VMS", it was not a clothing boutique but a lifestyle shop! The only clothes they sell are these dresses from a bohemian designer. Long with a train but made of lyrca and were in earthly shades.

'What choice do I have?' She said, eyes well up in tears.

2 sisters rushed back up to the ceremonial ground, it was close to 11pm and all the guests have arrive. There goes the sunset wedding.

But the ceremonial ground was beautiful, the guests were all sitting on white foldable chairs under a full white tentage. Rose petals littered the path leading to the stage. Although 200 guests turned up instead of the intial RSVP 60 guests. The bride was glad everyone wanted to share her joy.

'Quick do your make-up' exclaim the sister

'How? There is such a long queue for the make up artist'

In the background, the bride heard the emcee of the wedding made an annoucement,'Will all certified pastors/fathers/priest/holy men step to the side of the stage. We need your help to officiate the ceremony.' Afterwhich a group of men and woman stood up and walk towards the stage. Beads of sweat formed at the brides's forehead. There was no solemniser for the wedding!

And still she was queuing for the mark-up artist. Doesn't anyone know its HER BIG day?!?!!?

A soleminser was finally chosen out of the group. It was a young butch whom the bride found her to be familar. Well, at least she is pleasant to look at and have a nice smile.

'No more time, forget about the make up. You have to go' The sister said as she yank the bride's arm.

As they were walking towards the begining of the aisle, the bride caught the eye of her groom. A sense warmth and calmness came over her, all her woes and worries just washed away. Then, she turned and walked towards her father who was going to give her away. This is it, she thought.

In a distance, she heard something shot through the air, followed by a loud boom. Fireworks! Her husband-to-be made the arrangements to have fireworks at the wedding! Tears flowed uncontrollably down her cheeks, she felt a sharp pain through her heart. He has done so much for her, yet, today, she has let him down. The dress was grub, her tardiness is unforgivable and her face was not pleasing to the eye. But she told herself that she can't let him down further. Hooking the arms of her father, the music played and they began their descent down the aisle.

'Why is Poppy balding like CRAZY!? And why is he combing his hair the robin hood way!'

Suddenly, her father stop his stride. The bride turned and saw 8 military men run out of a room. WE FORGOT THE SWORD BEARERS. The military men took their positions with their hands on their swords.

'No. No. We should go through them. Bride and groom should go through the swords. Not us.'

Father then led the bride around the sword bearers. The wedding is turning into a nightmare again, the bride is beginning to get a nervous breakdown.

She finally reach the foot of the stage. As she climbs up, she again feel that rush of warmth. Unfortunately, the feeling only lasted for a moment. There was no table for the signing of the certificate. Both the bride and groom, the witnesses and the pastor knelt down on the floor and began the ceremony. The marriage certificate was a crumpled A4 paper with some text printed on it. The bride felt something was wrong, yet she cant put her finger to it.

'Sorry my name is actually Estella Bte Mohd......' said one of the witness said.

My aunt has suddenly became a Muslim??? When??? The bride thought.

'Yah my husband died and I remarried,' the witness told the pastor.

WHAT IS GOING ON! MY UNCLE DIED??!?!!?

She turned to her future husband for support and saw him smiling. She asked him what he was smiling about and he pointed up.

The bride looked up, there lies 2 coffins with she and her future husband corresponding picture in front.

'Why does it feels like a funeral?' The groom said in a chuckle......
_______________________________________________________________________

I jumped up. Checked my handphone and it was 8.10am. Damnit! I just had a nightmare and I'm late for work!

Unleashing of the mahjong monster

And I thought I would have a wonderful peaceful weekend with my father off holidaying in KL this weekend. I had envision a quiet weekend of lazing on the couch, watching tv, channel surfing while chomping down on unhealthy snacks, fruits and water.

But with the husband gone, unleashed the mahjong monster-wife. The not so considerate mahjong monster I would go to the extend of saying even. How come, on the usual weekend, when you can go to your friend's place to play mahjong, you have to bring the mahjong back home. 3 freaking days in a row out of which 2 freaking nights, your daughter asked you very politely to bring it somewhere else. My god, where is the sense of consideration. Do we all not work all week long like you do? Do we not deserve a relaxing, quiet weekend. Will it hurt to go somewhere else? Its not like your friends don't live in big houses with private mahjong rooms. You have to bring them all here, to a tiny 1300sqft space lived by 5 other people and 2 dogs. Why can't you think for someone else other than yourself for a moment.

I am going to implode with frustration and a nagging headache.

The amazing women.

when I was growing up, my mother told me that when I grow up, I can pretty much be whatever I want to be, she taught me the facts of life. She taught me a little bit about men and how to deal with them. However, today as I turn 24 years old. I think my mother forgot to teach me one thing.
The different roles of a woman. I was never taught that I need to be a good girlfriend, a fillial daughter, a role-model employee, a dependable friend, a reliable sister, a dutiful mother, a tender-loving wife and being myself, all at the same time! No wonder men find it amazing how women can multi-task so successfully.

Take a working mother for example.
At 6am, the dutiful mother wakes her children up for school while preparing the most important meal of the day. Then the employee rushes into the shower, applies the make up that is demanded by the working society, put on the uninteresting working clothes. The dutiful mother re-possess the body, whiz the children into the car and drives them to school. As she drives, she revise the spelling test while the subconcious employee goes through the appointments for the day.
7.15am, the children are in school, the loving wife calls her husband to wake him up for work,
several times. Caught in the jam at CTE, the employee, touch up on her lipstick and checks her appearance in the mirror, doing all this while being on the phone for the last time, screaming at the man to wake up!
9.00am, just made it in time, the day shall now start.
10am, the fillial daughter must now answer to her mother why she hasn't gone home for the past few weeks for dinner while the employee types the long overdue report.
12nn Lunch time. The woman slips into the gym for some 'me' time and hurry through a fat free yoghurt and a veggie sandwich at the remaining 15mins at lunch time. Mustn't put on anymore weight, the husband's company annual dinner is round the corner. Must be trophy wife.
1pm After the wife sms an erotic message to her husband. The employee excuses herself from the meeting because the mother needs to check to see if the children are home.
6pm The employee goes home, immediately, the mother takes over and miraclously whip up a 4 course dinner in 30mins with just some meat, eggs, some veggie and mushrooms.
9pm The dutiful mother finish up clearing homework with her children. She tucks the children into bed and she hops into the bath for some 'me' time.
10pm The wife now slips into the sexy lingere she just bought. Going commando, the wife bends to right in front of the TV, allow her husband full view of EVERYTHING. Her husband closes his mouth, follows his wife into the bedroom
12mn A final gasp of moan from the sensual woman as she comes, she still feels her husband throbbing hardness in her. The wife knew her husband was a happy man.
1230mn Cuddling time over. The mother reach over to the bedside table and sets the alarm for tomorrow.

The multiple roles starts again at 6am.

THE BREAK UP

Easily, my favorite movie this year!

The Break Up dealt with issues that is so real. Issues that I can certainly relate to and am sure Blacks understand as well! As we were watching Jennifer Anniston fight with Vince Vaugh aboutt the lemons and the flowers and the dishes, I couldn't help but lean over to Blacks and whisper "Oh my god, we fight about that too!" The movie made me laugh, cry, heartbroken, touched and everything else a person feels throughout the course of any relationship. Sure! don't think anyone would go through the lengths of this 2 people when they break up just to spite one another but the emotions are so close to heart.

People, go watch this movie , and mebbe we will learn how to better appreciate the one we truly love.

Our first holiday together

We have finally taken a trip together. The timing was perfect as it was straight after the proposal and it felt like a honeymoon for the both of us. 4 days 3 nights staying at Century Park Hotel, Pratunam. We were greeted with a nice surprise when we reach out room with a nicely folded towel elephant perched on the toilet sink area.

And off we went, shopping, eating, shopping, eating. Blacks took me by surprise for the being the one more enthusiastic about shopping than I am. On the very first day we arrive, we have already conquered the entire Siam Square area and touched based at Suan Lam night bazaar! I was even 'told off' for not spending and buying enough stuff! It was hilarious. Blacks was such a gentlemen for carrying all our shopping. But the monster surfaced when he saw the roadside stalls selling satays and sausages. After the first bite into the 'ripper' (a sausaged deep fried), he was hooked, he was looking for it everywhere and everytime he found a stall, it was like finding gold. When we got lost, we asked around for directions but relied heavily on a map that was torn and tattered by our last day.

The best thing was going to Bangkok and ended up in Paris and Mexico!

But it was nonetheless 4 magical days we had. So thats the end of our short holiday and the beginning of our lifes together as 1

A career will only last you 40-50 years. True love will last you a life time.

------------------E-Ying 15th Aug 2006--------------------

And with that I choose love for material wealth will only keep me satisfied superficially. I need a deeper meaning to life.

I just want to be his wife

As most people know by now, I have gotten the proposal of a life time. One I couldnt have imagine and one that took my breath away.

Thank you Captain Tay for making it all possible.

What has the whole wedding/proposal changed? It has certainly changed my entire perspective on life. My sisters who know me well, knows that I am one who is not good with emotional chat. I don't say that I will always be there for them because I think they will know it and I don't tell them everything will be ok when they are facing a rut in their lifes because I know I will do all in my power to make things right for them. So no, Im not one who is good with emotional words. Yet, today, I find myself full of emotions. Full of emotionals words which I want to say. Full of emotions that are bursting out of me.

When I was younger, I didn't dream about the grand wedding. I didn't envision myself in the white gown walking down the aisle into the arms of my knight in shining armour. I've always wanted to be identified for my success (in a little way I still do). My vision was to climb the corporate ladder and be identified to be the best in the business. To have that big office with the view. To wear that power suit and have a team of people working under me. To drive that luxury car and dine in fine restaurants. To be RICH & FAMOUS.

But since I met him, my entire life has changed. Xiaohei became my life. I am happy just to be with him. I don't mind if we eat simple food everyday as long as we eat together. We have just spent the most wonderful 4 days in Bangkok and it felt so good to just be in a world where theres just me and him. I can't imagine how much I can love someone but I love him so much. As we were walking along the streets of Bangkok at night, I was not only scared that we might get mugged but I had this deep innate fear that the mugger will kill him and I will lose Xiaohei forever. Just that thought cause a sharp pain through my heart. I now really understand what does it mean by not being able to live without a person. I can't live without him.

I just want to be his wife.

"Eversince we are together, you have added colour to my life

There was never a dull moment with you by my side

I would like to have the honour to spend the rest of my life with you.

Baby..... will you marry me?" - xiaohei

Singapore Idol 2006

I only managed to catch a glimpse of Singapore Idol yesterday. OMG, I don't understand why we still bother to have this contest. We can't sing. Or at least those who tried out cant. Most of the people in the top 12 can't. And even if they can, they don't have a single Idol appeal at all!

This is my run-down on those who I watched yesterday;

a) Joakim
Flat flat flat flat flat flat flat! He sings flat. And his constant 'hopping' gives me a headache watching him. And he calls it dance, and the judges calls it dancing?!! I don'y understand how Dick Lee can say that Joakim only need to lift and finger and girls will scream. Scream at what?!?! I watch him and there is only 1 thing I see, his giant nose. I can't help but think of Shrek when I see it.

b) Paul 2Hill
Lucky he is only 17. The way he keeps flipping his hair forward like that, if he was 27, he will suffer a severe WHIPLASH!! Besides, the whole deal with his hair and his eyeliner was interesting and intriguing for a while, after a while, he just seems like he has only that trick up his sleeve.

c)Jay Lim
Cheena Piang should really stick to singing at 名歌餐厅。 When he sang 'If you're not the one', I actually felt physically nausea.

d) Nurul
Ok vocals. But no idol look.

e) Jonathan
He is actually my favourite of the bunch but a bit tired of listening to him sing rock songs only.

Give up Singapore. Lets focus our talents elsewhere

I just wanna be his wife.

As most people know by now, I have gotten the proposal of a life time. One I couldnt have imagine and one that took my breath away.

Thank you Captain Tay for making it all possible.

What has the whole wedding/proposal changed? It has certainly changed my entire perspective on life. My sisters who know me well, knows that I am one who is not good with emotional chat. I don't say that I will always be there for them because I think they will know it and I don't tell them everything will be ok when they are facing a rut in their lifes because I know I will do all in my power to make things right for them. So no, Im not one who is good with emotional words. Yet, today, I find myself full of emotions. Full of emotionals words which I want to say. Full of emotions that are bursting out of me.

When I was younger, I didn't dream about the grand wedding. I didn't envision myself in the white gown walking down the aisle into the arms of my knight in shining armour. I've always wanted to be identified for my success (in a little way I still do). My vision was to climb the corporate ladder and be identified to be the best in the business. To have that big office with the view. To wear that power suit and have a team of people working under me. To drive that luxury car and dine in fine restaurants. To be RICH & FAMOUS.

But since I met him, my entire life has changed. Xiaohei became my life. I am happy just to be with him. I don't mind if we eat simple food everyday as long as we eat together. We have just spent the most wonderful 4 days in Bangkok and it felt so good to just be in a world where theres just me and him. I can't imagine how much I can love someone but I love him so much. As we were walking along the streets of Bangkok at night, I was not only scared that we might get mugged but I had this deep innate fear that the mugger will kill him and I will lose Xiaohei forever. Just that thought cause a sharp pain through my heart. I now really understand what does it mean by not being able to live without a person. I can't live without him.

I just want to be his wife.

My test.....

I think whoever is higher up there is testing whether I am qualified to be someone's wife.

'Through the good times and the bad.
Sickness and in health
Til death do us part....'

My test this time is sickness.....Blacks has been running a high fever for 2 straight days and I as the adoring woman...is running high and low, trying to bring his fever down and tending to his every needs....

I think i pass.....but must wait for the official results to come out when he gets better....

Have you ever wondered?

I guess now, besides from my beloved Dad and Mum, everyone who needs to know knows that I am getting married to the love of my life. 30th December is the date. Beaufort is the place. And Blacks and I, are the stars of the show. As we prepare for the wedding and our lives to come. My mind begin to wonder.

Have you every wondered who attracts you and who you are attracted to?
Is there a prototype, a single type of person that attracts you? As my eyes glazed at the man who is lying beside me in bed, I see a different side of him from everyone. To me, he is a gentle man of few words, funny and sometimes a bit childish yet lovable and dotes on me. To others, he is a stern firm man of few words, serious and mature. Sometimes, I dunno why I'm drawn to him. I dunno why I love him so much. And I dunno why he loves me so. I cried the night he told me he wanted to marry me. I cried happy tears for I din know that we would really one day be married. The day I told him I was surprise we were actually getting married because we talk about it so much I always thought we would be one of those couple that simply talk about it. He replied in the most non-chalently of ways, he said to me that I don;t know how much he wants to marry me. My heart stopped. I gasped my breath as my eyes felt a stinging sensation. I love him. I love him very very much and YES I DO!

Have you ever wondered whether the saying 'a rainbow after a storm' is true and applicable to life?
To me I think its true. I am experiencing it now. I was riding on a rainbow last year when I worked at PICO, after enduring a storm of unemployment. Then this year, I rided out the storm of C*****S storm and now I am finally reaping the benefits. I got a new job!!!!

Have you ever wondered what it takes to make a person smile?
I made 2 people smile today. The birthday gift that E-Chiing and I bought for E-Lin's birthday has reached her 1 week early. We bought her a sexy lingerie to aid in her birth-making. I received a word of thanks for my dear dear brother-in-law who seems happier receiving the gift than E-Lin, I was told.

Have you ever wondered whether you can hurt your eardrum?
Well, my dad has apparently done so, puncturing his eardrum on his flight back from Hattyai. Now, he is walking around with some cotton wool in his ear because the 'direct' sound actually makes his ear hurt.

Have you ever wondered what actually goes on in an animal's head?
Aren't we all still figuring that out.

- Love...a wife to be....me

I am Dumble-ly-dore!!!

Take the test! http://www.matthewbarr.co.uk/harrypotter/index.htm

As I struggled to think of the title of for this long due entry, my mind is flooded with the events that occurred this month. There was a wedding, there was a death, there was happiness, sadness and the TV is perpatually stuck at channel 27 (WC Premium) now.

The World Cup began. The game that unites the world. The game that stopped a war temporarily. 11 men per team. 90mins of play. Its addicitive.

I married a girlfriend off. A a true blue Teochew, we were all up at 3am, ready to negotiate a good price for the lovely bride. At 5am, she was in the hands of her husband. Ready to take on the world together. As the bridesmaid help with the entire processions for the day, we made friends and had out own fun together with the best men. It also dawn upon me that I really don;t want a traditional clad wedding. Too much work. Too much customs that I dont comprehend!
But as I finally watch her walk down the aisle towards the Justice of Peace, my lips quivered and tears flowed uncontrollably down my cheeks. My Lynn is getting married!!!!

With every celebration of life, there is a death. One of my former teacher passed away Tuesday morning. After struggling with cancer for the past few years, she finally succumb to it and left to the kingdom of the lord. As I sat at the wake reminisicing old times with friends I havent seen in many years, we remembered her and thanked her for her dedication in our hearts. I also notice that although her family was sadden by her passing, they also showed signs of relieve and thankful that she no longer needed to suffer the pain. That she finally was able to let go and move on. It dawned upon me that death is not neccessarily the be all and end all of things. Death although inevitable, can be a good thing sometimes. And death, can be a celebration of life as well. Thank you Ms Peh. I am really sorry I didn't make the effort to see you for the last time before you go.

贵人

贵人 [gui-ren; pronouce as 'guu-i-ri-en'] : One who gives aid. One who helps. AKA benefactor

I'm sure everyone has met a benefactor at some point in their life. Be it the intelligent but financially poor student who did received a scholarship from a fund. Or the kind lady who always cooks a little extra at home so she can give some food to her neighbour. Or the man whose quick reflexes pull a pedestrain away from a potential accident. Or simply a kind hearted man who feeds the starving neighbourhood cats every evening. Just someone who is there at the right place and the right time to give the appropriate aid needed. They need not be someone rich or famous like Lee Foundation who give financial aid or Oprah Winfrey who travelled to Africa to show comfort to starving children. Benefactors come in all shapes and sizes, all walks of life, all background. It could be anyone. It might just be you.

I hope I am someone benefactor, if not now, I hope I will be. I don't need gratification but I hope I have helped someone enough or will help someone enough that their lifes are positively affected.

I am thankful and grateful to my very own benefactors. Not just the people close to me and love me unconditionally but also those who didn't even know me well. The famous one which I have thanked constently, Alf who gave me the chance, the break. I feel blessed to have met them and from the bottom of my heart. THANK YOU.

Almost a quater of my life crisis

Well, I wouldn't really term it as a crisis crisis.
More of a coming to another cross-roads.

I met my best friend of 9 years the other day and was feeling really bumped because I just had a very insulting job offer and didn't think I was going anywhere in life. So wondered where have our 9 years gone to? We have mutual friends who are very successful to me but she told me that it was not me to be like them. To have my life pathed out and structured. Part of me feels that I am more free-spirited too like she said yet I seek some stability in life?

As I sit across her and sit to her consol and advise me, Im hearten that I have people who loves me and such wise friends I have!

Oh well, I suppose all things will come in time and to those who work for them and I intent to work my ass off.

Bearer of dreams

I love dreaming. Especially when my dreams have sight, sound, colour and taste, plus I always remember what I dream. And I always wondered why some people only dream black and white, why they don't have as colourful a dream as I have and why they don't remember.

Recently I had my first supernatural dream. I meant that I dreamt of a decease relative; my grandmother. Chinese believe that deceased relative sometimes enter their relative's dream to pass on a message, to ask for something or simply to let them know that they are alright. I've never dreamt of anyone deceased before so when I recently dreamt of my deceased grandmother, I didn't think much of it. Not sure whether its actually because I really still miss her or she really came into me to tell me something, but the dream was so vivid.

Dream 1
I dreamt that E-Chiing had passed me $150 (2 $50 bill and 5 $10 bills) and told me to pass it to my grandmother. As I was going to my grandmother's house, I was grumbling at what would my grandmother do with $150, afterall, she was wheel-chaired bounded and its not that she would go shopping and stuff. And even as I passed her the money, I was still grumbling.

I didn't think much of it. But after tell my E-Chiing and my mother. My mother went to the temple and 'asked' my grandmother whether she really need money thats why she came to my dream. And she 'replied' Yes.

Dream 2
I was back at my old house. I had my bath towel around my neck and was going to the bathroom to shower. But somehow, I walked to the kitchen. My old house was such that you will have to go past the dining room to the kitchen and as I was opening the kitchen door, I realise that I had walked to the room place to shower. So I closed the door back and was past the dining room again. But this time, lying in the dining room was my grandmother's coffin. It was like the wake again because there was the joss sticks and the picture and everything. And as I walk past, I actually waved to the coffin and whispered 'Bye Bye Grandma'.

Dream 3
I don't remember much but I had climb down a long long stair case and when I reached the ground floor. I walked towards a table where there was my grandmother's urn with again the joss sticks burning. I picked up the joss stick, litted it and prayed to my grandma.


Whether its a case of my missing my grandma still or not, I'm glad to have such a connection with her. Although we were very close when she was alive, I'm glad to feel that she loves me. And actually thinks about me. I miss you Seng Choon Ah-Ma. Thanks for being an awsome grandmother.

Sa-wa-De-Kaaaaaaa

I still dunno whether females say ka or kap or what. Nonetheless, I enjoyed myself in Bangkok. Althought, I didn't take as many photos as I wanted, I didn't buy as much things as I wanted but I think my trips has been rather fulfilling.

What I did;

Worked
The conference went great. To say it was flawless would be a lie. Of course there were hitches, there were bitches and some serious lack fo sleep but I thought it was all good

Shopped
OH MY GOD!!!!!! I bought so much!!!! Whatever you see below is only for the first day! Im so broke.

I'm a SHINIGAMI

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