Very weepy tonight. I'm not sure whether it was because of the show I was watching or that I was upset with Blacks being so late on a Friday night when he told me that he would be back 4 plus then 8 then now at 10 he is no where near home. Or that I see no meaning to my life. No job. Nothing to do except to see each and every day of my life go by in a daze. Not sure what to do. Deprive of things I want to do.
I need meaning to my life. I need A LIFE. I need a job.
Not trying to sound suicidal but sometimes I wish I am somewhere else. Somewhere I don't have to think about money or have any worries. But where can that place be? But I doubt I will find the gut to take a knife to slash my wrist or throw myself off a building. For now, I shall just have to grit my teeth and ride through the storm.
Suddenly, the overachiever that I always feel I am seems like such the failure in life.
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