MY LAST 7 Days

I never thought there would be a day where I actually will miss my job when I leave. But guess what? I'm experiencing it now.

For the past 11 months, I have taken bus 10/30, to Harbourfront, changed to bus 166/57/97/61 and going into 450 Alexandra Road. Taken the lift to the 5th floor and into my cubicle where i work from 9am to 6pm. and take the same route back home.

Ok, so I don't take the bus all the time. I cab and I drive and no I don't always take the same route back home cos Im usually out for dinner with Juni after work or I'll be at the gym first before I go home. But I'm sure you know what I mean.

I've cleared out my cubicle that was full of soft toys and figurines. Cleared out my drawers that were full of junk. And my mailbox that were full of spam. At my final week of work at HP, I am currently a benchwarmer...or seat fillers if you prefer. I am penning my "Pugilistic Manual" book for the nice marketing manager and my eventual replacement. And I am harbouring thoughts of giving the evil marketing manager loads of shit to clear. But that would be unethical and mean. I will not stoop to his despicable-ness.

But I miss the people already. My Superman who gives me something to smile at the office...freakily look like my Blackman. My Bros (Khem&Tay) who dines and laugh (at me mostly) with me. Hwee,Kong,Mokky and all the other TCs that giives me hope that there are actually good decent people in the world after all. YioYio whom I love to hate but hate to love because I can never win with him and its sometimes such a turn on. And sweet Lynda whos always got my back.

Oh well, but I think i gave it a good run after all. I worked my ass off when Im needed. And tried very ahrd to deliver when Im suppose to. If I've failed in some way, at least I learned a ton along the way.

Good Bye HP Software SEA. You'll be missed.

There is a Chinese saying that goes like this; Fang Xid Tu Dao Li Di Cheng Fo. It means actually for an evil / bad person to literally drop his/her evil ways & work towards becoming Buddha "e; good. I dunno why but l've always like this saying. So recently a decision I made gave me a chance to improvise on this old saying. I've been saying "Fang Xia TU Dao Li Di Cheng Lao Po. which actually means that I am ready to drop everything and become his wife. full time. 100%. in AMERICA.

Well, it was a very hard decision I had to make. After all, aside from the romantic aspect of 'eloping'; we need to also be practical right? But in the end, Hei and I are convince that money can be earned again but the experience may never. So we arrived at this decision. Afterall, I'm also looking to take a break from this country. After 3 bosses,1 bitcher than the last. I am tired of dealing with bastards who don't appreciate my hard work & effort.

So ya, Im leaving, together with my Blackman, we are flying 11th July. Singapore-Washington on United Airlines.

I will miss everyone dearly.

Mr Moon by Mando Diao

Stumbled upon this relatively unknown (in Singapore) Swedish band and found them really quite good. You should check out their other song 'Long Before Rock n Roll'

Enjoy!

Somewhere in Singapore lies a shop conducting a REMOVING SALE.

你不知不觉得被別人牵着鼻子走。
但你却无动于中的看着你的家人为你而操心，失望。

I miss her.

I remember the days where its just me and her. We shared the room and kill ourselves laughing over nothing. Gone are the days where she listens and give me good advice. Nowadays, she just provides me with sweeping words of advice. We used to stuff ourselves with 4 bowls of herbal soup and 2 packets of duck rice while watching the latest episode of Ally Mcbeal. It didn't matter if it was my clothes or hers, or my shoes or hers, we shared everything. She was the person I run to even noone understood me because I know she does. My room was the room she hid and cried while arguing with her ex-boyfriend on the telephone, not knowing I was still awake. My heart ache while I handed her the box of tissue and went back to sleep. We used to have our own private conversation while watching television and noone could understand but us. We used to have dinners together, just her and me. We used to go out together just her and me.

She has distant.

Ironically, we are only 10 feet from each other.

We never have dinners together anymore. Even going as far as having to buy a duplicate item in the fridge just so its segregated 'yours' and 'mine'. I never see her alone anymore. A third party has arrive. And even though I am happy to see her happy. I wonder if she knows I miss her. And sometimes cry because I miss the times we used to share. Everything seems to be a secret these days. Everything seems to be hidden. She is hidden. She is so far away that I can't even see her shadow sometimes. What happen?

I love her so much.

And I hate you for taking her away from me. It is because of you that she has become so distant. From everyone. The only time she has she spend with you. Do you realise it? You may have brought her happiness. But your selfish-ness and possessiveness have allowed noone else but yourself to enjoy her. Your voice have drowned everyone else's. Your life is all she has revolve herself over. Yet, you say you love her. You just want her. You just want noone else to have her. You don't see her for who she is. You just want to mould her into who you want her to be.

And you succeeded.

She is noone the she, I grew up with. Her outspoken nature has been dwarf by your insatiable voice. Her personality has been concealed by your out the top, exhibitionist nature.

You are a theif. You are a theif who sponges off others like its only right. You stole her for us. You stole her from the world and hid her in hands for only you to appreciate.

I miss her. I hope one day, she comes back.

My...

So much has happened recently that I don't know where to begin and somehow somewhere, I lost that will to blog even though so much and ran through my mind.

My burn has heal and though the mark has not exactly gone away but its no longer irritated and itchy. I got hurt that night, not just physically but also emotionally. By the water and by my husband whose work came before I did. It still kinda ached my heart a bit til today but I suppose it will soon heal in time.

My work is also coming to an end. In 21 days, I will be leaving HP and looking for a new phase in life. It seems all so daunting, exciting and fulfilling at the same time because it means again I have to start looking for work which I really dread. But at the same time, I think I have had a good run at HP. I did my work to the best of my ability and made some new friends that have guided me and made me laugh. Besides from new found work skills and knowledge, I also know now how important who u know are. Damn Im not in the HOOD.

My home. Didn't come. The Bedok flat that I was rooting for really fell through. Well technically, we got a queue number but because the number is so great, the 'polite' customer service officer from HDB tells me that we are actually not successful. I gave her a piece of my mind then regret giving crap to her cos she was just doing her job. Wrote to ST forum and got published.

My friends. Plenty of happenings. Besides from iGeek's a series of unfortunate events yesterday in Sentosa; got stuck in toilet cubicle, got slipper kicked off on the sky ride. A Jimny is after Molala. Soft spoken guy for seemed nice enough. Well, let's just allow nature to takes it course and love to floowwww.

My poor Vicky. I was trying to trim her fur around her ear so it wont irritated but I accidentally nip her ear. I felt so guilty the whole day even now I almost cried. Cooked a pasta dinner for her and gave her some bananas. But I swear I have the whole's most good natured dog. Love her!

I was hungry I wanted to eat

I want noodles and didn't want meat

Cup noodles was what I crave

Telling my mum I had to brave

So water was boiled and poured over the mee

Wanted to eat my noodles while Bleach i see

But when i lifted my cup noodles lid

Some got stuck and the noodles started to slid

Then tip all over the noodle and the hot water

On the counter the floor and my tigh later

I screamed in pain but first I had to

Clean up the mess I had to do

My tigh didn't hurt until I shower

I almost cried and almost cower

Under the pain when the water hit my tigh

But to act brave I only sigh

So now Im hungry and in pain

I think Clumsy is really my name!

I'm so proud of my fellow Singaporean. Mr Dick Lee

It has been rather eventful since my last entry. Let me see where shall I begin....

The Good
A external hard drive. A Playstation Portal. A Shaver (for Hei). A Joop dress. A pair of shoe. The damage is severe but I'm happy. Well, ask me again in 2 weeks when I'm truly broke and mebbe it wouldnt be that great anymore but for now, I'm happy. I've been wanting a PSP since don't know when. So Sunday, me and hei made a deal. I bought him a shaver = $80 and he buys me a PSP = $500 (plus games). Somehow I keep thinking I had gotten a better deal. HeeHee

Fracture. Starring Anthony Hopkins and Ryan Gosling. 2hours plus of intense suspense and an intelligent plot with a clever twist to close. I enjoyed the movie immensely and didn't even eat much of the popcorn. I may be stereotyping but Anthony Hopkins is made to play the character of psychotic killer who is highly intelligent. Just watch Silence of the Lambs. It still gives me the chills.

Wild Hogs. I must say, I don't think the movie is THAT GREAT or THAT FUNNY. But anything with John Travolta cant be bad, he is still sexy after all. There is something Ugly about the movie...see below for details.

Pizza Hut. My dad is now a pizza delivery man! Sure its not a glamourous job and a far cry from a boss he used to be. But I'm happy he is happy on his coming out of retirement. It kills his time and lighten his mood these days!

The Bad
Work has been pretty bad. Following my lousy work review, things has not look up. My boss still pretty much hate my guts and think very little of me. But what's there to do? I suppose I just have to make the best outta it. I love my job, I like the department and enjoy my colleagues. With my boss and I, I think its the uncontrollable factor of 八字不合 or clash of the 8 characters.

Dancefloor. What a waste of my time watching the finale. Results was announced in SUCH A BAD MANNER. And to think MediaCorp had the audacity to invite Benji (the winner of America's "So you think you can dance") to perform. What would he have brought away....

MSU. This is an even bigger waste of time. The women are not stunning, they aren't articulate and some are downright stupid. Why do we even bother. Really.

The Ugly
Loud Chinese Gay man. Who spoilt my watching of Wild Hogs because he laughed SO LOUDLY at every single little thing. To a point he had to throw himself forward because it's SO FUNNY. Sitting beside his Ang Moh boyfriend, he completely ruin my movie because I couldnt hear the punchline.

I would here like to say a word of thanks to the Tan Family who 'adopted' me and treated me to a hearty dinner. Plus, the fact that they appreciated my 'shamelessness' when I finished up all the food. It was a great fishball vege soup, sesame chicken and sardines with plenty of onions! And the view on the 23rd floor was amazing...of course this was before the HDB Hub was built I was told.

DocT and I then went to take her Honda Diracc for a spin. The car was so cool, it had a touch screen GPS system and everything. The only flaw, which I honestly think its quite stoopid, is that the car needed to come to a complete stop with the handbrake up before you can activate any buttons on the touch screen!!!

Molala met up with me and DocT at Gardens where we spent the rest of the night chatting over a fondue and a sundae.

Off to Changi in a Honda we went

To see some she-im whose d!cks are bent

Some were short and others were tall

All I'm sure has little or no balls

But they were pretty, they were slim

Their names were Janice, Sharon but not Jim

Their waist was small, their boobs were big

And when they walk they jig jig jig

Respect I have for them for their courage

For their bravery to not live in a cage

But to run free and live proud

Kudos to you I say it loud!

I admit, I am not the most cultured person and it has been YEARS since my last play. So yesterday when I was dressing up to go to work, I decided to wear and nice tube top with jeans and my killer heels because I am going to the theatre (studio) to catch 251 with iGeek and Molala.

to my dearest igeek: I realise that you never use my real name when you blog, so I will keep your ID a 'secret' too. =)

Anyway. By the time I finish organising an internal training which noone turned up. My feet was screaming in pain. It didn't feel like my feet. It felt like Hei, squeezing his giant feet into my heels and hike through the jungle for 1 week. I was in pain. And it didn't help that it rained and iGeek happily took out her sneakers to air her wet feet when we sat at the studio. She looked mighty comfortable. Im sure it stank, but it looked comfortable.

Back to the main topic. Well, although I can't say it was awful. But 251 certainly didn't capture me as much as I like it to be. It has some rather funny bits and it had a interesting use of numbers. But I don't think it truly captured the story that is ANNABEL CHONG. Maybe because I am bias. I did watch the actual documentary. Amy Cheng looked too young to be the mother, especially when the father (Michael something i think) looked a bit too old. And it was a really lousy wig that Cheryl Miles put on but complemented her not-so-good acting. And the guy who played the character of the director I felt was too over the top. Lastly, the front nudity of Cynthia Lee was total unecessary and didn't add value to the play whatsoever.

Nonetheless, it was a good effort. Annabel Chong is an extremely complex character afterall and her story is one that is very difficult to narrate. Even after watching the documentary, I didn't really understand why she did the things she did. I don't know if you can say that Singapore should be proud of her. Im sure a huge percentage is still ashamed she is even Singaporean. But to a certain extend, can you not admire her guts? Can you not deny the fact that she had the courage to step out and beyond the box? She ventured into lands beyond Singapore's wildest imagination, took a plunge into the red sea and swam to the desserted island. That took courage. Courage that a lot of us will never find. I wish I can be a bit like her.

I think a year or 2 ago, there was an article on New paper on Annabel Chong. This columnist wrote about how there is a little Annabel in all of us. I agree with him. Annabel Chong is just a collection of all our fantasies and lust, our courage and strength and our feelings and thoughts balled up into 1 person.

Hei and I have the most fun in bed.

No, Im not just talking about the sex.

But seriously, every night before we sleep, we lie in bed talking and laughing. Mainly laughing. We nudge each other, tickle each other and simply irritate the living daylights out of each other for fun. Noone gets angry or fed up. It just fun.

I love that 15 mins before bed time.

Tonight, its just me in bed alone....no fun at all.

Halloween came early

The picture is not extremely good but in a nutshell, I caught my finger at the door the other day and it shaved off about a quarter of my nail off...Ouch

I havent realise that I havent blogged in such a long time. With a turn of an eye, March has gone and April is here. I must say that March has been a rough month, yet at the same time I also felt the love and support from everyone.

Had a lousy job review which made me really distraught. But friends kept my spirit up and my soul alive and my sturdy pillar of strength give me time out just to cry all I want. Really appreciate it guys. Thanks so much.

Hei did a review with his boss too and had a confirmation for America. With that, it leaves me with a really heavy heart. How on earth can we be apart for 10 mths i really wonder.

3rd year anniversary

3 years ago today, she fell ill and he brought a cup of soup to her. Although it was just a hot cup of instant soup, but it warmed both her stomach and her heart. She had ask him to stay until she fell asleep and he did. Just stroking her hair while she closed her eyes and entered dreamland.

That was the day they put themselves in the web of love.

Today, hei and I spent our 3rd year anniversary together. I'm not sure whether issit the fact that I havent spent much or even any time with him recently or that its our 1st anniversary after we got married, but I feel especially emotional today. I patiently waited for him at home today as he was busy with his new intake, and cant help smiling and getting excited when I heard my phone ring and it was him. Somehow I dunno why, I wasn't angry or disappointed when he said he could only have a quick 40mins dinner with me as he was rushing back to work. Part of me just felt glad and happy that he bothers to come home just to have a quick dinner with me. Though it was only packet hor-fun, but that 20mins was the highlight of my day.

No candlelight dinner. No presents. No flowers. But the accompany was precious.

Its just me alone again in bed tonight. I miss him so much yet I am so glad I found my one.

Baby, thanks for a almost perfect 3 years. Next stop, 5000 days. Muacks

As she sat at the dinner and watch her friend make his vows and began a new chapter of his friend with his wife, she cant help but reminisce about her own wedding last december. It was only a mere 3 months ago but it only seems like yesterday to her. And she wished she can turned back time and go through that very happy day again. Tears welled up at her eyes as she watched the newly weds make their thank you speech, clasping each other hands tightly and gazing deeply into each other's eyes.

She misses her man.

This week that he has been away from her due to a hectic work schedule, she often wondered how she is gonna make it without him around for 10 mths. Noone to laugh with her, noone to share private jokes with and noone to cuddle up when she feels lonely.

10mths - its neither a short time nor a long time. But its time apart for a couple who is so tight. He is her source of comfort and she is his pillar of strenght. At least when he comes home, tired and worn from a hard day at work, he knows he can lean on her for some tender loving care. And when she has had a bad day at work, she know she can rant to him without him judging her and simply provide a supportive shoulder.

She loves her man.

A weekend without him

As Friday moved along, she wondered how she is going to spend this weekend alone. He will be away at work all weekend, maybe not even coming home to sleep. At 5pm, she decided she will spend some time working out so she packed her bags, left for work and spend the next hour in the buses to reach her gym. After spending an hour at the gym class lifting more than her usual weights, she rented 3 movies and bought some groceries to cook some dinner for herself. How she wished that she was gonna spent the night cuddling up with him, watching the movies she rented and eating the food she cooked. But nonetheless, the night went past fairly easy with the movies.

At midnight, she heard the sound of keys rattling at the door. It cant be anyone else. A smile was pasted on her face and she went out to greet him. Their eyes met and although he was worn out from the very long day at work, he was glad that he was home to her. As they laid in bed, she watched him sleep and wondered how she is going to managed 10mths without him by her side. She stroked his hair and slowly fell asleep.

SHI-TOU!

"And....at an official weight of two hundred and seventeen pounds......TWO! Time world heavy weight champion....

ROCKY, THE ITALIAN STALLION, BALLLLL-BOOOO-A!!!!!

How can you not love to watch Rocky?? Yeah, sure, the story line is a bit too boring this time around. Too emotional and Sly certainly didn't look his best. But its still an inspiring story nonetheless. The epic scene of watching Rocky run up a long flight of stairs simply just makes me drive to National Stadium, run up the stairs and scream at the top of my lungs when I reach the top.

My suggestion is to watch this movie when you just finish gym, or before you are heading out to the gym. It makes you hyped up and ready to beat the crap out of air (when you take body combat classes like me).

Their will to live

I've been wanting to blog this for a while but kept forgetting. So now since I am waiting for the biggest game in this season's EPL, Man U versus Liverpool, I shall take some time to blog.

16th Feb 07

I was exhausted from 1 full week of activities. This day, I woke up at 5.00am only to reach work at 6.00am to oversee a setup for the teambuilding activity. I got home around 3.00pm, exhausted like hell and fell asleep. About 6-ish, I woke up, got out of my room and realise that noone was home. As I walked into the living room, I cant help but hear kitten wailing outside.

You know sometimes you just have the gut feeling that something is wrong? Well, I felt that. I went to the balcony and couldn't help but feel that I need to find this kittens. So I ran out of my house and followed the wails.

There they were, 1 was stuck on a thorny hedge while the other had fallen into the drain, half submerged. Quickly running back into the house and take a container, lined it with a rag and ran out again. When I got there the 2nd time, I realise the kitten in the drain was no longer wailing. My heart stopped. But I quickly took the kitten caught in the hedge out first. I didn't dare to pick the kitten in the drain because I feared it was already dead. But when I was about to leave, I learn a soft wail.

I saved 2 kittens. Handed them over SPCA.

To little thorny and little braveheart. I hope you guys are alright

NA.S.T.Y

Everything was simply just N.A.S.T.Y at the 'swanky' new cafe at The Cathay. IL CAFE DE ROMA is the name. Roma was totally lacking in the ambience but ILL it sure made me. The indoor area of the cafe look sparse and the furniture looks like its trying too hard. To the extend that they have decided to leave the TAGS on the chairs. At some point, I wondered if I was at Ikea shopping for furniture. There was a small are which I felt had potential though, it was a long shelf with a counter top and allowed people to sit around it. But this even is ruin by a black corner of the cafe where I reckon the store is. A black cloth serving as a curtain hung sloppily and beside it was a IKEA shelf displaying all their sauces and cutlery, exposed to public.

Well, I was hoping the food would be at least edible thing but oh no, you are strongly mistaken. I had a cafe mocha which was average but it tasted more like hot chocolate milk. Hei had some cafe gelato thing which was served in a martini glass which is nothing but 1 shot of expresso and a blop of ice cream. And we shared a bland lousy brownie which doesnt even taste a fraction as good at those $1.20 chocolate cake I can find at my humble neighbourhood confectionery. It was dry and for the first time in my life, the baker uses pine nuts to add the crunch.

I guess the guy that was not wearing a uniform, standing behing the cashier counter was the owner of the place. Firstly he doesnt carry a smile for the customers and when he walked out of the cashier counter to hand a customer a bill. I was shocked that he was wearing 3 quarters and crocos! Not that is wrong, but it just doesnt fit the image they are trying to portray.

Mebbe it was a wrong nite for us to go. See picture below. I'm not sure if you get it. But if you don't let me know. I'd like to think she lost weight

The Protege

So, what can go wrong. With a cast of Andy Lau and Daniel Wu, even if the plot stinks, you are smitten by the 2 hunks. I would include my lovely Louis Koo into the above sentence but they made his character too awful and the make-up too ugly for me to indulge.

But, the plot is surprisingly tight, and the director did not go out of focus. The story sent a extremely powerful message yet it displays a soft, emotional side. It was serious yet it had its spurts of humour (though I thought the audience yesterday laughed a bit too much). It was not perfect of course, the movie was a little too gory to my liking and some parts (especially the 'hand' scene) seems like a horror movie instead of a suspense thriller.

I am however undecided whether Andy Lau was the most ideal person for his role. Sure, its an undeniable fact that he is a great actor and his performance in Infernal Affairs was immaculate, but although his performance was still top class, its just hard to see Andy in the streaks of grey hair, acting as a father of 2.5. Maybe it was also because Anita Yuen's character looked much older than him.

Otherwise, I think this movie is at the top of the charts in my billboard and doubt very much there will be another Chinese movie this year that will be able to knock my socks off as much as this did.

Great job to the entire production crew. And SAY NO TO DRUGS!

Look what I found

What are they looking at

As we finish dinner at VivoCity's Kopitiam, we realise there was a crowd standing outside Standard Chartered, all looking in. Thinking it must have been a robbery or a case of assult, we quicken our pace and started walking towards the bank too.

What were they looking at??? So intently, so engross. Some were even discussing with their friends about something.

Can you tell???? Perhaps a closer look will help you.

I'm not sure if its a new marketing gimmick from Standard Chartered. Luring customer by airing football on their big screen. It's Singapore vs Thailand!!!! ROOOAAARRR

I can't believe how much I love this song!

I have a Pet Rat

This is dedicated for E-Lin mainly...Look Jie...Joey has turned into a rat...

By popular demand, ie my Da-Jie, I am uploading my photo of my new coloured hair on my blog.

Sony Ericsson vs. Nokia

In 2 months, I have changed from a Nokia 7390 (in Glamourous Pink) to Sony Ericsson k800i (in Cool Jet Black).

Why you may ask? Maybe I'm just being stupid, wasting all that money? Maybe I just really rich?

None of the above, I got forced into it.

If Nokia would make their interface better, I wouldnt have needed to change my phone. Sure, it is user friendly but that is not even a competitive edge anymore. All phones come with a short-cut button to the menu and usually it takes 3 steps or less to get to your desire function. Plus, some phones even have better short-cut buttons.

And please, stop flaunting the Symbian technology, 2 years ago, the Nokia salesman (xiao peng) sold me the Nokia 7610 boasting of the new Symbian Technology. Until today, it is still the Symbian Technology. What's so great about the SYMBIAN technology?

The Camera. Both K800i and 7390 boast a 3 megapixel camera, but unfortunately the screen resolution for k800i is so much more superior that it makes pictures just look nicer naturally, besides it takes at least 3 seconds or so to take a photo on the Nokia. Listen Hard, its KODAK MOMENTS...not KODAK MINTUES.

But well, what can I say. I got suckered into the colour. Glamourous Pink was really quite captivating and it really fits the feminine image. Besides I've always wanted a flip phone. But after a month of it, I find the cuticles on my right thumb is total severed and the flesh near the cuticle is actually slight bruise due to sliding my thumb in between the flaps to open the phone.

Lesson Learnt.

The New Year = A new Look

The 14th day of the new year and so far I think I've done at least 1 life changing thing besides from getting married.

I CHANGED MY HAIR COLOUR. After 24 years of living with natural jet black hair, I finally found the courage to change all my hair on my head to 2 different colours and I love it. I have a brown base and auburn streaks. Too bad the picture don't do me justice.

(I'll just have to upload the photo when this actually works. Damnit)

Anyway, I dunno if its just me but to all my married friends, are you suppose to feel something specially different when you are a newly wed? I'm not sure whether I am suppose to something different when the man you wake up to is no longer just your boyfriend but you HUSBAND? Are you then suppose to do different stuff together? Exclusive stuff that is just retained for people who are MARRIED? I can safely say that for Blacks and myself, we don't feel anything different. Everday when we wake up we are just like we were before we SIGNED the PAPERS. We feel the same way for each other and we do about doing our regular routine stuff. So what is really the point?

But well, I do enjoy the MARRIED LIFE i suppose, whether it is different or not. I am happy to be HIS WIFE.

My intended speech for the wedding

This was what I intended to say for the speech at my wedding, but I left my notes in my book and in my room and ended up saying some rubbish which I can't remember.

"我想在此感谢小黑的家庭。从小黑第一天把我介绍给你们时，你们大家就非常温心的欢迎我进入郑家。
Auntie and Uncle：我虽然有时有一点疯疯癫癫，可是我答应你们我一定会好好的照顾你的儿子。他吃鱼翅，我吃鲍鱼。 他吃cheng teng 我吃燕窝。 =）

To my dearest friends, who know that I am not good with expressing mushy words of love and gratitude and stuff, I would like to here say a few words of thanks to some people for their effort put into this magificent wedding.

Lynnette: For the immaculate design work for the invitation cards. Thanks for understand what I wanted without even me explaining anything. I hope you know how talented and gifted you are and don't ever let anyone make you think otherwise.

Debby: If not for you stepping in at the last min and taking charge of the situation. This wedding would have been nothing.

Lydia: Thanks so much for volunteering your services as an emcee for the wedding, working so that me and Xiaohei can enjoy your night.

A special thanks to whoe who have specially flew down for the wedding;
1. Adam and Paula
2. E-Lin and Mark
Congratulations to the pregnancy. I became a wife and an aunt in a week!!!
3. My best friend of 9 years, Jessie Ang Pei Shan. We have the wildest time together always
4. Ivan and Eurris. My brother, my siheng.
And last but not least, Sheena and Giada. I have the prettiest flowergirl ever! Sheena, you didn;t have to go through all the trouble for me because we don't even know each other so well but you did and I don't think I can ever express enough gratitude.

Saving the most imporant for the last, I would like to thank my family; Dad, Mum, E-Lin, Mark, E-Chiing and Lydia. I may have Singapore's most dysfunctional family ever with my long hair dad and my aussie PR sister and her ang-moh husband but I know you guys will always love me and always be there for me. I can't be more proud to be part of any other family. "

See, I had such a structured, well thought out speech and it just went spat....

IN A NUTSHELL

WE ARE MARRIED!!

Will post more photos and a write up later. Now, I just want to sleep.

PMP (Parents-meet-Parents) Session

What a relieve that this is finally over. Something that I have been kinda stressed over lately has finally past. And the best thing is, it went rather well. Way above my expections.

In October, my dad requested a lunch meeting with Hei's parents. His reason: In-laws should not meet only at the day of the wedding, like strangers. Fair enough, but it was rather stressing for hei and I. Firstly, Hei's working schedule is so erectic that its hard to find a time where he is available. Secondly, my parent and his parents cant be anymore different especially in terms of food taste. And lastly, we wondered if they found something to talk about, what were they gonna talk about? Us? Our housing issue? Dowry? The wedding?

Oh well, as it turns out. We went to a Heng Hwa restuarant, which was good because its Hei's mum's dialect and she knows what to order. Besides, its not like a generic chinese cuisine, its quite special. After the formal introduction, the 2 mothers started talking about food and China. My dad participated in the topic but seemed a bit too over zealous at times. Besides, I think his not-so-great lunch appetite made Hei's mum worried that he didn't like the food. Then they started talking about children, again a good common topic where they can all talk about how they don't see their children anymore and both sides trying very hard to show that they are liberal and they are not bother that their children and them have very little contact time. Where in actual fact, both mums does the occasional 'complain' that their children don't spend enough time and they don't see their children.

Otherwise, the 2 hours lunch went above and beyond my expectation. Hei and I could enjoy the wonderful food, have coversations of our own, without having to create conversations between the families or kill awkward silences.

From the bottom of my heart, I would really like to thank Mum and Dad and my soon to be Mother and Father in-law for the easy casual lunch. Of course, thank my soon to be HUSBAND for treating us to lunch.

OMG, HUSBAND still makes my hair stand a bit...

Maternal Relationship - A love-hate relationship

Disappointment does not even begin to describe her feelings towards her mum lately. Now, in her twenties, she has been on a 20 years roller coaster ride of emotions with her mother. They went through a series of love-hate relationship, love relationship and hate relationship. And to think she thought that things have been great since her going away to study and coming back. At least now my mother sees me as an adult, she thought.

But all good things have to come to an end someday. Recently, her mother’s actions have left her feeling un-loved and disappointment. It all started with an incident 3 weeks ago.

It was a stormy evening. Looking out at her office window, she could only see the heavy rain platting onto the building and the dark clouds that looms above. It was 6pm and she just wanted to go home after a long day at work. Seeing the bad weather, she called her mum, only to realize that her mum was already home from work. After she enquired if her mum can go over to fetch her mum, her mother’s only cold hearted reply was that she would meet into bad traffic jam at this time. She pleaded with her mum to pick her up as the last few times she went home when it was raining, the rain turned into a storm by the time she reach the bus stop opposite her apartment and she reached home drenched. But her cruel mother simply said no and reassured her that she wouldn’t get sick from being in the rain.

So angry she was with her mother then that she called Australia to her sister and poured her woes.

Then 2 weeks after the incident on a Sunday night, she approached her mother again, asking her mother if her mother could kindly drop her off on the way work. She had earlier organized a department party and brought home 2 banners, a big bagful of excess name badges, a label maker and her working briefcase. Her mother complained that fetching her to work means they always have to leave at 8.15am, causing her to get caught in the peak hour traffic and having her to pay $2 for ERP and be late for work. A sharp pain ran through her heart. How can her mother say that? Does her mother not have a single sense of compassion? Her mother has just recently returned to her family business after leaving 15 years ago, her official working hour is from 8.30am to 5.00pm but she has seen her mother leaving home only at 8.10am and returning home as early at 2pm often. Besides, having only started work less than 6 months, her mother has taken leave to go Indonesia and China for holidays. So obviously work timing is flexible in the company, so what is 20 mins late for work?

Having to door slammed in her face twice, she learnt never to ask her mother again.

To her mother, the grass is always greener on the other side. Other children are more filial, obedient and successful. Other people’s husband is more caring, loving and romantic. Yet her mother always fails to see that her daughters try their very best. At least they fetch and pick her up almost all the time when she asked, listen to her woes about their father and provide for the family as much as they can. Her father, although grumpy sometimes and an untidy man of few words, cleans up the balcony everyday and bothers to take time out to vacuum and mops the floor. Her mother simply chooses to criticize how dirty the house is and noone bothers to clean except her.

This constant negativity coupled with her mother’s tantrums simply makes living with her mother so unbearable at times. Who wants to be a punching bag for no rhyme or reason?

She has decided that it’s not worth being upset over her mother this way. No confrontation will come to any good and her mother would simply think that it is just another one of her daughter’s way to rebel. She has decided to live and let die, she will just speak to her mother minimally and never to ask for another thing.

Planet Fitness at VivoCity

Tiny lockers and lousy sound system are just some of the members’ benefit you get to ‘enjoy’ at the NEW VivoCity Planet Fitness. Fortunately for members, the gym is situated at the roof top of Vivo City where one can view the skyline of Sentosa because the TV embedded in the state-of-the-art treadmill does not work half the time and the reception is so bad the other half of the time. Machines are also a scarcity at the gym and this is affirmed by the waiting area where 3 chairs are placed for members to wait to go on the treadmill.

One thing is constant is this newly opened gymnasium, the lousy air-conditioning & sound system in the fitness class. The over-whelming participants in each class mean there’s a constant competition for fresh air. Maybe this is the goal of Planet Fitness, to force sweat to purge out of their members as a form of detoxification. The sound system is inhabited by a squeaking alien who enjoys chomping down on potato chips.

After 2 hours at the gym, GETting FIT FOR LIFE, members are greeted with a designer bathroom where the designer seemed to have no thought process in his design concept. The lockers are so magnificently tiny that no normal size gym bag would fit and for members who go to the gym afterwork, it's a dilemma between putting your briefcase or gym bag into the locker. And no, the 2 locker space of hanging area for clothes with a miserable 4 hangers per what it seems like 18 lockers does not help the situation one bit. But Planet Fitness’s toilets motivates one to slim down and GET FIT, the toilet area is so small that a slim person would need to stand at the side just to close the door and the shower curtain is made of heavy PVC material that requires industrial strength to draw. Besides, with a shower pressure even worse than a drizzle, member’s probably doesn’t even want to shower after gym.

Otherwise, the staffs are friendly and the view is great. Afterall, at a cheap price of $65 per month, one can’t possible compare Planet Fitness to the lifestyle club that is Fitness First.

Everything is falling apart

My wedding is falling apart and noone seems to see it.
I am trying so hard to keep myself together but it is under control no longer.

Already 3 close friends have cancelled on me. I'm just waiting for more cancellation to come.
Music is not done.
Photo montage is not done.
Invite is not done.
Invite list is not finalise.

I just want a memorable wedding....doesnt seem like thats gonna happen anymore...

Yup, we failed in our first attempt of getting our first home.
I spent at least half hour crying my heart out.

What did we do wrong?
Why we didn't get it?
Did we not submit our application early enough?
Did we not appear enthusiastic about the flat when we went to view it?
Did we fill in the application wrongly?
How could we have better our chances in getting a flat?
When did they decide who got the flat?
Who actually got the flat?
Is god playing tricks on us?

DID WE NOT WANT IT ENOUGH?

So many questions that will never be answered. Fact remains that we didn't get the flat. Period. No arguing.

I felt so guilty because I had just last week ask Hei whether we can give up Sengkang and wait for Premiere. From his previous entry, the worse of the worst has come true.

WE ENDED UP WITH NOTHING.

Having had a few days to think about it, I starting to think this might be a blessing in disguise. True, we really like Premiere. But it is more expensive and more than we budgetted for.
At least now, if we buy a resale flat, we probably can get it a more affordable price, a bigger unit and in a more mature estate. So it can free up our finances a bit and it may be easier to sell in future. More importantly

WE CAN MOVE IN SOONER!

Oh well, at the end of the day, I suppose its BUILDING our first HOME that's IMPORTANT. It shouldn't be about the house. It should be about the HOME.

HOME. HERE WE COME....

SALES OF FIRST DBSS FLATS - THE PREMIERE AT TAMPINES

Sales Registration Number :5000647F
NRIC No :S77XXXXXB

We are sorry to inform that your application for The Premiere at Tampines is unsuccessful due to overwhelming number of applications. As we have informed in the Sales Brochure, we are inviting applicants up to two (2) times the flat supply to select a flat.

Your queue position has exceeded 2 times the flat supply available for sale.

Thank you for your keen interest in this project.

A movie of good looking people who drive 3sec cars, live the high life and gamble enough to feed a small country in Asia. Whats there not to like?

I wasn't extremely keen to watch this movie, but after paying $9.00 and spending about 2.5 hours in the cinema, I didn't felt like it was a waste of time. Sure the movie has it flaws and it was TOO LONG for a action flick, but the first 10 mins of action was unbelievable (Even better than Jackie), the cars and the hotel room and the beach was divine and Daniel Craig was pleasant to the eye as well. Still, I don't think he is perfect for the part. 007 should have a bad boy, charismatic, playboy look where a woman knows she will only have her heart broken yet unable to resist the charms. He looks too serious, too 'committ-able'. But I was told this is the first episode of 007 and this was what moulded him to what he became, so it ain't half bad.

The LONG poker game was turn-on-ish. I love a man who can play the game and have the poker face...

Still....it was TOO LONG a movie.....I ended up sighing at the last half hour, wondering when will the movie ever end. For a moment it felt like the Hong Kong series "A Kindred Spirit", too many twist, almost like the director simply doesn't want the movie to end.

The woman could have been more babe-licious. That was a little disappointing.

Our Dilemma

Well... I dun know where to begin...

Baby and I are trying to get a place and have been looking for a little crib that we can call our "home"... Though we have been to a few freehold condo, like Costa del Sol, the Bleu, Riveria, The Montage..... realistically, we have only applied for The Premier and have also taken a "number" for Seng Kang after the recent Walk-In-Selection (WIS) by HDB. Obviously, the Premier is our first choice, and if by luck of teh draw, we didnt get the ballot of the place, we would have to settle for SK....

But the thing is, ballot result for the premier will only be out at end Nov, BUT we would have to book for SK (if we so decide to do so) this coming thursday - 16 Nov. Well, it seems as it is, we have 2 choices
1 - To apply for SK... or
2 - give up SK and wait for The Premier

This is currently the hand delt to us...

1 - Apply for SK.
No Money No Talk - An exec unit (if we ARE apply for SK, we are going for Exec unit, nothing else....) cost about slightly more than 300k. We have enquired about a housing loan, and it seems that if the price of the place falls around that range, both our CPF contribution should be able to comfortably cover for the loan repayment, without having to top up cash monthly.

In addition, we can save maybe about 2, 3, even 400 dollars of CPF monthly without having to commit them. In the future, when we so decide to sell the place, we would have some CPF in our account, on top of whatever we can sell the house for.

Planning for our Future - With the place going at 300k, there is a better chance for the place to be sold at a higher price in the future. Currently, SK is not very well developed yet, and I reckon with more young families settling there, DEFINITELY lobby groups will be formed to push for better amenities and infrastruture. That will jack the price of the place higher in the future.

When we wanna sell it in, say 5 years time, we would have some money in CPF (having not committed all our monthly contributions), and having sold the place at higher than 300k, we can afford a better place, and maybe, something like The Montage (freehold), or the Bleu (freehold!) would be realistic. Something that, at the end of the day, belongs to US, after 99 years and not the government....

SIZE Matters - SK Exec units are slightly bigger, at 130 sqm, though the layout is a little.... querky... but I reckon if we can employ partitions or false walls smartly, we can overcome that.

Location, Location, Location - Its near nowhere! To be honest, we hadnt really explored the place, but frolm what we have witness, there arent much malls, not a lotta coffeshops. I dun think there is a swimming pool. There is only an egress/ingress route to TPE/SLE.... sure jam in the morning... Its so inaccessible to anywhere...

First Impression - The flats that we have viewed, the paint on its walls are peeling off. And it dun give us the homely feeling. In anycase, our number is 2739, there are only like 1000+ plus on offer... I reckon by the time it reaches 2739, and the 2,738 people didnt oick the unit that we chose... something is really wrong...

2 - Give up SK and wait for Premier
Our First Home - Whatever we chose, it'll be our first home and we wanted it to be perfect. We wanted something NEW, not something built in 2001, unsold for the next couple of years because ON ONE wanted it.

Size matters - The largest unit is 113sqm, and the corner units that we are eyeing on are 109sqm... But, as before, I think if we can decor it smartly, it shouldn't be that obvious...

Money Talks - With our current combine CPF contributions, to purchase the most expensive unit, we would have to pay 1,4k per month, i.e. we would need to fork out about 100+ in cash, having expanded all our monthly contributions. Thats not a problem for now, but just worried of not being financially flexible in the future... in addition, in the event that one of us loses our job, then what... will we still be able to afford the monthly installment for the premier?

Selling the place - with the place going at 450k, I dun think we can sell it for very much higher, and the freehold condo dream might be... well... a dream... heck lah.... no free hold condo so what.... when we die, we prob wont have anything for the kids, and they can learn to be indenpendent like their mummy and daddy...

9 applicant/1 unit - For every unit in the Premier, there are 9 applicants vying for it.. But that was BEFORE the WIS exercise... hopefully, the number would have dwindled down significantly as majority of the applicants have gone for SK/Punggol/Hougang...

Location, Location, Location - Its Tampines... everthing is there... its near the central... need me to say more?

Premier No More? - It would be an interesting situation if, after we gave up the SK and wait for the premier... and if the ballot results is not in our favour, we would end up without a place... well... guess by then we would have to settle for re-sale...

TOP date - The premier's TOP date is third quarter 2009, compared to SK, which I think... we can move in pretty soon.. that means after we get ROM at the end of this year, we would have to wait for 3 years before we hold our customary wedding. My mum is a little... concern about what the rest of the people will say about me, that I cannot afford a place after marriage and have to stay with her baby's parents.. hello.. not I want... If it helps, i will pop by the construction site to buld the premier with them, just so it can be ready earlier... can my dad "wait" for so long?

Decision, decisions, decision....

Before baby left for phuket, we have decided that we will hold out for the premier... thats what we wanted. whatever happens in the future... its all conjecture and postulation... as the saying goes... when the river flows from the mountain and into the river, there will be fishes... (go figure...)

what would you do?

Hi Doctor,

I am sick. Symptons includes; coughing in the morning, coughing in the afternoon and coughing at night. The cough is dry so there is pain in my throat everytime I cough and because I cough so much, my chest is beginning to hurt too.

On the optimistic side, I am working my abs everytime I cough and they are beginning to ache, like I have doing sit ups.

Doctor, is there some way that I can continue to work my abs involunteeraily yet stop coughing?

Appreciate if you could help.

Sex

& SIt has been a long discussed topic on Singaporeans and Sex. How we have one of the lowest sex rate in Singapore, how Singaporeans are uninterested in sex and how sex is only a neccessity because of heir making.

Well, recently, I stumbled across another article of such. A survey was done and findings shown that Singaporean wants more leisure time, more time with family & more money as compared to more sex. The articled featured 2 interviews; one with a celebrity couple who can't live without sex and 1 single (fugly) actress who prefers shopping to sex (which btw, we feels its simply because she is so fugly noone wants to f*** her anyway).

Anyhoo, that article didn't sit well with me. 1 simple reason. How can you compare sex to money?

It's not an even playing field. Honestly, one can live without sex, but one certainly can't live without money. We no longer live in a world where we can exchange a cow for a sack of rice. We can only exchange dollars for that. So money is critical to the pure survival of a human being. Without money, I will not be able to buy that latest fashion trend, I will not be able to purchase the HOPE OF A BETTER SKIN offered by Clarins, I will not be able to attain my A4 size paper that certifies my prescences in UWA, I wouldn't even be able to buy that $2.30 packet of chicken rice to feed my empty stomach. In conclusion, I WILL DIE.

Sure, the lack of sex in my life will cause pent up frustration which will make my shopping trips unenjoyable, it will make me a very grump and unfriendly driver (which I am already anyway), and make me even more fed up when the waiter at swensen's ask if I wanted a banana spilt. But life goes on. I WILL NOT DIE.

So to that reporter of that article. Shame on you. How could you have not realise this?

On this topic of sex. Men have to understand this. 90%+++ of the woman population do not attain orgasm through vaginal penetration. So stop asking how many times we came, because most of the time? None at all. We have been so disllusion by Samantha from Sex and the City who somehows climax everytime a penis entered her vagina. Is that even remotely possible?
And yes, size do matter. Unfortunately for those who have a small penis and try to make up for it by boosting that you are good in bed. Face the truth, how can a 3inch pencil tip accomplish anything? Men. Try to understand that orgasm for women means quite different. I don't think we are looking for the 'out-of-body', 'yes! yes! yes! yes!' experience.

Don't get me wrong, SEX IS PLEASURABLE.

The Premiere - Our dream home

You are a pair of newly-weds.
You dream about your future home, how it would look like, how it would feel like. Even what it will smell like.
Envisioning your dream home brings a smile to you faces, a sense of calmness and a ray of hope to the union.
You talk about it, discussing the colours of the walls and the furniture, the theme of the house.
As you talk, you can't help but feel a ting-ling sensation run through your body, a electricfying sense of excitment.
You just can't wait for day you get the keys.
The gateway to the nest, the door that tangiblise the union, the opening to a life together.

Can you feel it?

Introducing the Premiere - Our dream home.

What do you think?

'Oh my god! My dress! The dress-maker told me he couldnt finish in time.'

'Ok calm down, lets go and buy one now of the rack, there is a mall just downstairs'

Her sister and her immediately flew out of the rehearsal wedding and headed to the mall below. Lucky it was only 3.30pm, there was 2 hours to find a last min dress for the wedding. Calvin Klein, Massimo Dutti, Mango. Price was no longer a consideration, she would charged it to the credit card first. As the 2 sisters ran down the escalator, the bride saw this shop at the corner of her eye, selling some dresses but they were all too colourful. Never mind, I'll keep it in mind, she thought to herself. First to Mango, then to Klein and then all the rest. She needed a dress. She wants to get married.

They headed towards the Mango sign but to their horrors, it was only a window display.

'Where is the damn Mango shop!?!?' The bride started to panick.

The 2 sisters, rushed from shop to shop, only to find all the dresses were in knits. It's the winter fashion, there were no cocktail dress on sale!!!!!

On the verge of an anxiety attack, the bride looked at her watch. Oh no, it was 9.38pm, way past her stipulated ceremony time. And still no dress.

'Oh we saw that shop earlier. VMS or VPMS or something. Where is it?!?!?!!?'

'That way. Quick' She grabbed hold of the brides hand and ran in the opposte direction

They entered a shop named "VMS", it was not a clothing boutique but a lifestyle shop! The only clothes they sell are these dresses from a bohemian designer. Long with a train but made of lyrca and were in earthly shades.

'What choice do I have?' She said, eyes well up in tears.

2 sisters rushed back up to the ceremonial ground, it was close to 11pm and all the guests have arrive. There goes the sunset wedding.

But the ceremonial ground was beautiful, the guests were all sitting on white foldable chairs under a full white tentage. Rose petals littered the path leading to the stage. Although 200 guests turned up instead of the intial RSVP 60 guests. The bride was glad everyone wanted to share her joy.

'Quick do your make-up' exclaim the sister

'How? There is such a long queue for the make up artist'

In the background, the bride heard the emcee of the wedding made an annoucement,'Will all certified pastors/fathers/priest/holy men step to the side of the stage. We need your help to officiate the ceremony.' Afterwhich a group of men and woman stood up and walk towards the stage. Beads of sweat formed at the brides's forehead. There was no solemniser for the wedding!

And still she was queuing for the mark-up artist. Doesn't anyone know its HER BIG day?!?!!?

A soleminser was finally chosen out of the group. It was a young butch whom the bride found her to be familar. Well, at least she is pleasant to look at and have a nice smile.

'No more time, forget about the make up. You have to go' The sister said as she yank the bride's arm.

As they were walking towards the begining of the aisle, the bride caught the eye of her groom. A sense warmth and calmness came over her, all her woes and worries just washed away. Then, she turned and walked towards her father who was going to give her away. This is it, she thought.

In a distance, she heard something shot through the air, followed by a loud boom. Fireworks! Her husband-to-be made the arrangements to have fireworks at the wedding! Tears flowed uncontrollably down her cheeks, she felt a sharp pain through her heart. He has done so much for her, yet, today, she has let him down. The dress was grub, her tardiness is unforgivable and her face was not pleasing to the eye. But she told herself that she can't let him down further. Hooking the arms of her father, the music played and they began their descent down the aisle.

'Why is Poppy balding like CRAZY!? And why is he combing his hair the robin hood way!'

Suddenly, her father stop his stride. The bride turned and saw 8 military men run out of a room. WE FORGOT THE SWORD BEARERS. The military men took their positions with their hands on their swords.

'No. No. We should go through them. Bride and groom should go through the swords. Not us.'

Father then led the bride around the sword bearers. The wedding is turning into a nightmare again, the bride is beginning to get a nervous breakdown.

She finally reach the foot of the stage. As she climbs up, she again feel that rush of warmth. Unfortunately, the feeling only lasted for a moment. There was no table for the signing of the certificate. Both the bride and groom, the witnesses and the pastor knelt down on the floor and began the ceremony. The marriage certificate was a crumpled A4 paper with some text printed on it. The bride felt something was wrong, yet she cant put her finger to it.

'Sorry my name is actually Estella Bte Mohd......' said one of the witness said.

My aunt has suddenly became a Muslim??? When??? The bride thought.

'Yah my husband died and I remarried,' the witness told the pastor.

WHAT IS GOING ON! MY UNCLE DIED??!?!!?

She turned to her future husband for support and saw him smiling. She asked him what he was smiling about and he pointed up.

The bride looked up, there lies 2 coffins with she and her future husband corresponding picture in front.

'Why does it feels like a funeral?' The groom said in a chuckle......
_______________________________________________________________________

I jumped up. Checked my handphone and it was 8.10am. Damnit! I just had a nightmare and I'm late for work!

Unleashing of the mahjong monster

And I thought I would have a wonderful peaceful weekend with my father off holidaying in KL this weekend. I had envision a quiet weekend of lazing on the couch, watching tv, channel surfing while chomping down on unhealthy snacks, fruits and water.

But with the husband gone, unleashed the mahjong monster-wife. The not so considerate mahjong monster I would go to the extend of saying even. How come, on the usual weekend, when you can go to your friend's place to play mahjong, you have to bring the mahjong back home. 3 freaking days in a row out of which 2 freaking nights, your daughter asked you very politely to bring it somewhere else. My god, where is the sense of consideration. Do we all not work all week long like you do? Do we not deserve a relaxing, quiet weekend. Will it hurt to go somewhere else? Its not like your friends don't live in big houses with private mahjong rooms. You have to bring them all here, to a tiny 1300sqft space lived by 5 other people and 2 dogs. Why can't you think for someone else other than yourself for a moment.

I am going to implode with frustration and a nagging headache.

The amazing women.

when I was growing up, my mother told me that when I grow up, I can pretty much be whatever I want to be, she taught me the facts of life. She taught me a little bit about men and how to deal with them. However, today as I turn 24 years old. I think my mother forgot to teach me one thing.
The different roles of a woman. I was never taught that I need to be a good girlfriend, a fillial daughter, a role-model employee, a dependable friend, a reliable sister, a dutiful mother, a tender-loving wife and being myself, all at the same time! No wonder men find it amazing how women can multi-task so successfully.

Take a working mother for example.
At 6am, the dutiful mother wakes her children up for school while preparing the most important meal of the day. Then the employee rushes into the shower, applies the make up that is demanded by the working society, put on the uninteresting working clothes. The dutiful mother re-possess the body, whiz the children into the car and drives them to school. As she drives, she revise the spelling test while the subconcious employee goes through the appointments for the day.
7.15am, the children are in school, the loving wife calls her husband to wake him up for work,
several times. Caught in the jam at CTE, the employee, touch up on her lipstick and checks her appearance in the mirror, doing all this while being on the phone for the last time, screaming at the man to wake up!
9.00am, just made it in time, the day shall now start.
10am, the fillial daughter must now answer to her mother why she hasn't gone home for the past few weeks for dinner while the employee types the long overdue report.
12nn Lunch time. The woman slips into the gym for some 'me' time and hurry through a fat free yoghurt and a veggie sandwich at the remaining 15mins at lunch time. Mustn't put on anymore weight, the husband's company annual dinner is round the corner. Must be trophy wife.
1pm After the wife sms an erotic message to her husband. The employee excuses herself from the meeting because the mother needs to check to see if the children are home.
6pm The employee goes home, immediately, the mother takes over and miraclously whip up a 4 course dinner in 30mins with just some meat, eggs, some veggie and mushrooms.
9pm The dutiful mother finish up clearing homework with her children. She tucks the children into bed and she hops into the bath for some 'me' time.
10pm The wife now slips into the sexy lingere she just bought. Going commando, the wife bends to right in front of the TV, allow her husband full view of EVERYTHING. Her husband closes his mouth, follows his wife into the bedroom
12mn A final gasp of moan from the sensual woman as she comes, she still feels her husband throbbing hardness in her. The wife knew her husband was a happy man.
1230mn Cuddling time over. The mother reach over to the bedside table and sets the alarm for tomorrow.

The multiple roles starts again at 6am.

THE BREAK UP

Easily, my favorite movie this year!

The Break Up dealt with issues that is so real. Issues that I can certainly relate to and am sure Blacks understand as well! As we were watching Jennifer Anniston fight with Vince Vaugh aboutt the lemons and the flowers and the dishes, I couldn't help but lean over to Blacks and whisper "Oh my god, we fight about that too!" The movie made me laugh, cry, heartbroken, touched and everything else a person feels throughout the course of any relationship. Sure! don't think anyone would go through the lengths of this 2 people when they break up just to spite one another but the emotions are so close to heart.

People, go watch this movie , and mebbe we will learn how to better appreciate the one we truly love.

Our first holiday together

We have finally taken a trip together. The timing was perfect as it was straight after the proposal and it felt like a honeymoon for the both of us. 4 days 3 nights staying at Century Park Hotel, Pratunam. We were greeted with a nice surprise when we reach out room with a nicely folded towel elephant perched on the toilet sink area.

And off we went, shopping, eating, shopping, eating. Blacks took me by surprise for the being the one more enthusiastic about shopping than I am. On the very first day we arrive, we have already conquered the entire Siam Square area and touched based at Suan Lam night bazaar! I was even 'told off' for not spending and buying enough stuff! It was hilarious. Blacks was such a gentlemen for carrying all our shopping. But the monster surfaced when he saw the roadside stalls selling satays and sausages. After the first bite into the 'ripper' (a sausaged deep fried), he was hooked, he was looking for it everywhere and everytime he found a stall, it was like finding gold. When we got lost, we asked around for directions but relied heavily on a map that was torn and tattered by our last day.

The best thing was going to Bangkok and ended up in Paris and Mexico!

But it was nonetheless 4 magical days we had. So thats the end of our short holiday and the beginning of our lifes together as 1

A career will only last you 40-50 years. True love will last you a life time.

------------------E-Ying 15th Aug 2006--------------------

And with that I choose love for material wealth will only keep me satisfied superficially. I need a deeper meaning to life.

I just want to be his wife

As most people know by now, I have gotten the proposal of a life time. One I couldnt have imagine and one that took my breath away.

Thank you Captain Tay for making it all possible.

What has the whole wedding/proposal changed? It has certainly changed my entire perspective on life. My sisters who know me well, knows that I am one who is not good with emotional chat. I don't say that I will always be there for them because I think they will know it and I don't tell them everything will be ok when they are facing a rut in their lifes because I know I will do all in my power to make things right for them. So no, Im not one who is good with emotional words. Yet, today, I find myself full of emotions. Full of emotionals words which I want to say. Full of emotions that are bursting out of me.

When I was younger, I didn't dream about the grand wedding. I didn't envision myself in the white gown walking down the aisle into the arms of my knight in shining armour. I've always wanted to be identified for my success (in a little way I still do). My vision was to climb the corporate ladder and be identified to be the best in the business. To have that big office with the view. To wear that power suit and have a team of people working under me. To drive that luxury car and dine in fine restaurants. To be RICH & FAMOUS.

But since I met him, my entire life has changed. Xiaohei became my life. I am happy just to be with him. I don't mind if we eat simple food everyday as long as we eat together. We have just spent the most wonderful 4 days in Bangkok and it felt so good to just be in a world where theres just me and him. I can't imagine how much I can love someone but I love him so much. As we were walking along the streets of Bangkok at night, I was not only scared that we might get mugged but I had this deep innate fear that the mugger will kill him and I will lose Xiaohei forever. Just that thought cause a sharp pain through my heart. I now really understand what does it mean by not being able to live without a person. I can't live without him.

I just want to be his wife.

"Eversince we are together, you have added colour to my life

There was never a dull moment with you by my side

I would like to have the honour to spend the rest of my life with you.

Baby..... will you marry me?" - xiaohei

Singapore Idol 2006

I only managed to catch a glimpse of Singapore Idol yesterday. OMG, I don't understand why we still bother to have this contest. We can't sing. Or at least those who tried out cant. Most of the people in the top 12 can't. And even if they can, they don't have a single Idol appeal at all!

This is my run-down on those who I watched yesterday;

a) Joakim
Flat flat flat flat flat flat flat! He sings flat. And his constant 'hopping' gives me a headache watching him. And he calls it dance, and the judges calls it dancing?!! I don'y understand how Dick Lee can say that Joakim only need to lift and finger and girls will scream. Scream at what?!?! I watch him and there is only 1 thing I see, his giant nose. I can't help but think of Shrek when I see it.

b) Paul 2Hill
Lucky he is only 17. The way he keeps flipping his hair forward like that, if he was 27, he will suffer a severe WHIPLASH!! Besides, the whole deal with his hair and his eyeliner was interesting and intriguing for a while, after a while, he just seems like he has only that trick up his sleeve.

c)Jay Lim
Cheena Piang should really stick to singing at 名歌餐厅。 When he sang 'If you're not the one', I actually felt physically nausea.

d) Nurul
Ok vocals. But no idol look.

e) Jonathan
He is actually my favourite of the bunch but a bit tired of listening to him sing rock songs only.

Give up Singapore. Lets focus our talents elsewhere

I just wanna be his wife.

As most people know by now, I have gotten the proposal of a life time. One I couldnt have imagine and one that took my breath away.

Thank you Captain Tay for making it all possible.

What has the whole wedding/proposal changed? It has certainly changed my entire perspective on life. My sisters who know me well, knows that I am one who is not good with emotional chat. I don't say that I will always be there for them because I think they will know it and I don't tell them everything will be ok when they are facing a rut in their lifes because I know I will do all in my power to make things right for them. So no, Im not one who is good with emotional words. Yet, today, I find myself full of emotions. Full of emotionals words which I want to say. Full of emotions that are bursting out of me.

When I was younger, I didn't dream about the grand wedding. I didn't envision myself in the white gown walking down the aisle into the arms of my knight in shining armour. I've always wanted to be identified for my success (in a little way I still do). My vision was to climb the corporate ladder and be identified to be the best in the business. To have that big office with the view. To wear that power suit and have a team of people working under me. To drive that luxury car and dine in fine restaurants. To be RICH & FAMOUS.

But since I met him, my entire life has changed. Xiaohei became my life. I am happy just to be with him. I don't mind if we eat simple food everyday as long as we eat together. We have just spent the most wonderful 4 days in Bangkok and it felt so good to just be in a world where theres just me and him. I can't imagine how much I can love someone but I love him so much. As we were walking along the streets of Bangkok at night, I was not only scared that we might get mugged but I had this deep innate fear that the mugger will kill him and I will lose Xiaohei forever. Just that thought cause a sharp pain through my heart. I now really understand what does it mean by not being able to live without a person. I can't live without him.

I just want to be his wife.

My test.....

I think whoever is higher up there is testing whether I am qualified to be someone's wife.

'Through the good times and the bad.
Sickness and in health
Til death do us part....'

My test this time is sickness.....Blacks has been running a high fever for 2 straight days and I as the adoring woman...is running high and low, trying to bring his fever down and tending to his every needs....

I think i pass.....but must wait for the official results to come out when he gets better....

Have you ever wondered?

I guess now, besides from my beloved Dad and Mum, everyone who needs to know knows that I am getting married to the love of my life. 30th December is the date. Beaufort is the place. And Blacks and I, are the stars of the show. As we prepare for the wedding and our lives to come. My mind begin to wonder.

Have you every wondered who attracts you and who you are attracted to?
Is there a prototype, a single type of person that attracts you? As my eyes glazed at the man who is lying beside me in bed, I see a different side of him from everyone. To me, he is a gentle man of few words, funny and sometimes a bit childish yet lovable and dotes on me. To others, he is a stern firm man of few words, serious and mature. Sometimes, I dunno why I'm drawn to him. I dunno why I love him so much. And I dunno why he loves me so. I cried the night he told me he wanted to marry me. I cried happy tears for I din know that we would really one day be married. The day I told him I was surprise we were actually getting married because we talk about it so much I always thought we would be one of those couple that simply talk about it. He replied in the most non-chalently of ways, he said to me that I don;t know how much he wants to marry me. My heart stopped. I gasped my breath as my eyes felt a stinging sensation. I love him. I love him very very much and YES I DO!

Have you ever wondered whether the saying 'a rainbow after a storm' is true and applicable to life?
To me I think its true. I am experiencing it now. I was riding on a rainbow last year when I worked at PICO, after enduring a storm of unemployment. Then this year, I rided out the storm of C*****S storm and now I am finally reaping the benefits. I got a new job!!!!

Have you ever wondered what it takes to make a person smile?
I made 2 people smile today. The birthday gift that E-Chiing and I bought for E-Lin's birthday has reached her 1 week early. We bought her a sexy lingerie to aid in her birth-making. I received a word of thanks for my dear dear brother-in-law who seems happier receiving the gift than E-Lin, I was told.

Have you ever wondered whether you can hurt your eardrum?
Well, my dad has apparently done so, puncturing his eardrum on his flight back from Hattyai. Now, he is walking around with some cotton wool in his ear because the 'direct' sound actually makes his ear hurt.

Have you ever wondered what actually goes on in an animal's head?
Aren't we all still figuring that out.

- Love...a wife to be....me

I am Dumble-ly-dore!!!

Take the test! http://www.matthewbarr.co.uk/harrypotter/index.htm

As I struggled to think of the title of for this long due entry, my mind is flooded with the events that occurred this month. There was a wedding, there was a death, there was happiness, sadness and the TV is perpatually stuck at channel 27 (WC Premium) now.

The World Cup began. The game that unites the world. The game that stopped a war temporarily. 11 men per team. 90mins of play. Its addicitive.

I married a girlfriend off. A a true blue Teochew, we were all up at 3am, ready to negotiate a good price for the lovely bride. At 5am, she was in the hands of her husband. Ready to take on the world together. As the bridesmaid help with the entire processions for the day, we made friends and had out own fun together with the best men. It also dawn upon me that I really don;t want a traditional clad wedding. Too much work. Too much customs that I dont comprehend!
But as I finally watch her walk down the aisle towards the Justice of Peace, my lips quivered and tears flowed uncontrollably down my cheeks. My Lynn is getting married!!!!

With every celebration of life, there is a death. One of my former teacher passed away Tuesday morning. After struggling with cancer for the past few years, she finally succumb to it and left to the kingdom of the lord. As I sat at the wake reminisicing old times with friends I havent seen in many years, we remembered her and thanked her for her dedication in our hearts. I also notice that although her family was sadden by her passing, they also showed signs of relieve and thankful that she no longer needed to suffer the pain. That she finally was able to let go and move on. It dawned upon me that death is not neccessarily the be all and end all of things. Death although inevitable, can be a good thing sometimes. And death, can be a celebration of life as well. Thank you Ms Peh. I am really sorry I didn't make the effort to see you for the last time before you go.

贵人

贵人 [gui-ren; pronouce as 'guu-i-ri-en'] : One who gives aid. One who helps. AKA benefactor

I'm sure everyone has met a benefactor at some point in their life. Be it the intelligent but financially poor student who did received a scholarship from a fund. Or the kind lady who always cooks a little extra at home so she can give some food to her neighbour. Or the man whose quick reflexes pull a pedestrain away from a potential accident. Or simply a kind hearted man who feeds the starving neighbourhood cats every evening. Just someone who is there at the right place and the right time to give the appropriate aid needed. They need not be someone rich or famous like Lee Foundation who give financial aid or Oprah Winfrey who travelled to Africa to show comfort to starving children. Benefactors come in all shapes and sizes, all walks of life, all background. It could be anyone. It might just be you.

I hope I am someone benefactor, if not now, I hope I will be. I don't need gratification but I hope I have helped someone enough or will help someone enough that their lifes are positively affected.

I am thankful and grateful to my very own benefactors. Not just the people close to me and love me unconditionally but also those who didn't even know me well. The famous one which I have thanked constently, Alf who gave me the chance, the break. I feel blessed to have met them and from the bottom of my heart. THANK YOU.

Almost a quater of my life crisis

Well, I wouldn't really term it as a crisis crisis.
More of a coming to another cross-roads.

I met my best friend of 9 years the other day and was feeling really bumped because I just had a very insulting job offer and didn't think I was going anywhere in life. So wondered where have our 9 years gone to? We have mutual friends who are very successful to me but she told me that it was not me to be like them. To have my life pathed out and structured. Part of me feels that I am more free-spirited too like she said yet I seek some stability in life?

As I sit across her and sit to her consol and advise me, Im hearten that I have people who loves me and such wise friends I have!

Oh well, I suppose all things will come in time and to those who work for them and I intent to work my ass off.

Bearer of dreams

I love dreaming. Especially when my dreams have sight, sound, colour and taste, plus I always remember what I dream. And I always wondered why some people only dream black and white, why they don't have as colourful a dream as I have and why they don't remember.

Recently I had my first supernatural dream. I meant that I dreamt of a decease relative; my grandmother. Chinese believe that deceased relative sometimes enter their relative's dream to pass on a message, to ask for something or simply to let them know that they are alright. I've never dreamt of anyone deceased before so when I recently dreamt of my deceased grandmother, I didn't think much of it. Not sure whether its actually because I really still miss her or she really came into me to tell me something, but the dream was so vivid.

Dream 1
I dreamt that E-Chiing had passed me $150 (2 $50 bill and 5 $10 bills) and told me to pass it to my grandmother. As I was going to my grandmother's house, I was grumbling at what would my grandmother do with $150, afterall, she was wheel-chaired bounded and its not that she would go shopping and stuff. And even as I passed her the money, I was still grumbling.

I didn't think much of it. But after tell my E-Chiing and my mother. My mother went to the temple and 'asked' my grandmother whether she really need money thats why she came to my dream. And she 'replied' Yes.

Dream 2
I was back at my old house. I had my bath towel around my neck and was going to the bathroom to shower. But somehow, I walked to the kitchen. My old house was such that you will have to go past the dining room to the kitchen and as I was opening the kitchen door, I realise that I had walked to the room place to shower. So I closed the door back and was past the dining room again. But this time, lying in the dining room was my grandmother's coffin. It was like the wake again because there was the joss sticks and the picture and everything. And as I walk past, I actually waved to the coffin and whispered 'Bye Bye Grandma'.

Dream 3
I don't remember much but I had climb down a long long stair case and when I reached the ground floor. I walked towards a table where there was my grandmother's urn with again the joss sticks burning. I picked up the joss stick, litted it and prayed to my grandma.


Whether its a case of my missing my grandma still or not, I'm glad to have such a connection with her. Although we were very close when she was alive, I'm glad to feel that she loves me. And actually thinks about me. I miss you Seng Choon Ah-Ma. Thanks for being an awsome grandmother.

Sa-wa-De-Kaaaaaaa

I still dunno whether females say ka or kap or what. Nonetheless, I enjoyed myself in Bangkok. Althought, I didn't take as many photos as I wanted, I didn't buy as much things as I wanted but I think my trips has been rather fulfilling.

What I did;

Worked
The conference went great. To say it was flawless would be a lie. Of course there were hitches, there were bitches and some serious lack fo sleep but I thought it was all good

Shopped
OH MY GOD!!!!!! I bought so much!!!! Whatever you see below is only for the first day! Im so broke.

I'm a SHINIGAMI

Take The Quiz Yourself!

Love, death and separation.

So many things happened in the month of March I don;t even know where to begin.

Let's see. Gotta start somewhere. Oh well, from the top then.

Work
Hasn't been the best lately. I have tendered my resignation after thinking for a while. Not sure what my next move is, hopefully its nearer to my dream. I am grateful to all my colleagues who have been nothing but friendly and supportive from the day I started work. Well, at least I made a new batch of friends. Good friends I might add.

I will take away from work a valuable experience. One which I have learn plenty from, yet nothing at all. Does it make sense?

Love
Blacks and I have been so busy lately, its crazy. We haven't had much time to spend with each other at all and the times we do, we are too tired for anything. Lets just look forward to a better April.

I have also recently learnt that a girl who used to be my friend has gotten married. Im kinda sad, not because she has gotten married, but we used to be rather close. It is because of love that we arrive to where we are today. We aren't friends anymore. We are not even aquaintence. Just a faded memory.

I also recently met a friend who is pregnant with her first child. I touched a pregnant woman's stomach truly for the 1st time. I have a slight fear in touching their stomach because I always feel that its like a bomb, once i touch it will explode! It was very heartfelt looking at her. Made me feel for once to have a baby of my own?

Death
My Grandma who is 93 years old died 1 week ago. Its the first time I really felt a sense of loss and I broke down during the funeral. Although, I do know that her death may not be the worst thing to happen.

As March comes to a close. I just want to look forward to a better April. Tho it doesnt seem like it.